A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Help!!!! I work in the same department as my husband and we have been married for three years. However I find one particular man at work very attractive and sweet. He is young and I am so sexulay attracted to him. We talk and work together but I can't help myself but to fantasize about him. I love my husband but I kinda wanna have done clean fun at work but how ?????
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 before I reply can you define clean fun and why you can't do it with your husband working?
part of the FUN in good CLEAN fun for me is having my hubby laugh when he sees it... so maybe we define it differently.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2013): I agree with the others. It's not just fun and games if you actually feel attracted to the person you're flirting with. Only bad things can come of this. Either he won't flirt back and you'll feel rejected, or he will flirt back and you'll be tempted to take things further. Don't think you won't. If you're as attracted to him as you say you are, it'll be hard to resist if you find out he likes you back.
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A
female
reader, Caring Aunty A  +, writes (9 May 2013):
 Yeah well, I think you may have lost direction here? This is Dear Cupid and I don’t recall it being affiliated with Hanky Panky Advice Anonymous :) Especially on how to have clean fun with a co-worker you fantasize about when your husband is in the same department (or not)… Anyway, ask your Husband, he probably has a great sense of humour about this sort of thing!? ‘Cause I suspect most of us here won’t have anything but sound advice to give! Fantasies are fine up to a point, when they don’t break sacred vows, but also can become dangerous illusions when you feed them with naïve thinking, ignore the consequences and start seeking advice on how to carry them out?Take Care – CAA
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 May 2013):
 No such thing as clean fun when you're sexually attracted to someone else. That's dangerous, and there's nothing platonic or clean when it comes to flirty banter. Consider if you'd want your husband having "clean" fun with some hot girl he's sexually attracted to. It's playing with fire, and if you value your marriage, you wouldn't look for ways to skirt the line.
I avoid any non-professional contact with someone if I develop a crush towards. Married people aren't dead -- but we are loyal in every action to our spouses whether they are there or not. I don't flirt with other guys, and if I feel that familiar little ego rush that comes with finding someone attractive or the conversation stimulating, I mention my husband at the first available opportunity. I also become boring quick...preferring to talk about boring topics like the tax rate or hangnails instead of things I find exciting like tornado chasing.
Your alarm bells should be sounding to high heaven if you love your husband. Stay away from the fire. Don't play with it, don't start an emotional affair, and have clean fun with your HUSBAND in the workplace!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2013): What would you say if your husband wrote this about a hot young thing working alongside late 30's you? How would you feel if you were in the way of alittle bit of clean fun he could have with a young woman he is sexually attracted to?
What you are doing is absolutely disrespectful to your husband. If you truly loved him you wouldn't be feeling like this.
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A
female
reader, IKnowWhatIWanTButDoThey +, writes (8 May 2013):
 M'am that is just dangerous. First of all, flirting is always a risk of more because the person you're flirting with can assume that you are doing so because you desire them and because you desire them, there is a possibility of intercourse. In which case, they come on stronger than before. And what you're talking about may not be physical cheating - but it's mental.
Either way, which you probably know since it seems like you are trying to sneak - whatever you do with this man, will not be okay with your husband! You made vows, you should honor them.
Maybe it'll help talking to your husband about it?
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A
female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (8 May 2013):
 When you say clean fun, what do you mean exactly? You want to flirt with this other guy or you want something else to happen? I would let go of the whole idea if I were you. It would be very disrespectful to your husband to flirt with another guy, especially with your husband in the same department. Spend some time reconnecting with your husband instead. Do things together, have good clean (and dirty) fun with him instead, remind yourself of why you married him and agreed to spend the rest of your life with him and him only. It's normal to be attracted to other people, there's nothing wrong with that. But acting on it is wrong.
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