A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriends parents have been split for 10 years and neither have found new partners and live quite isolated lives. My boyfriends Dad insists on hi-jacking my boyfriends time, makes him feel bad if he doesn't stay in and watch football and is always asking him to do things as 'mates' and even meets up with my boyfriends mates, goes out drinking etc etc. Its got to the point where I feel my boyfriend is some kind of 'replacement' spouse or entertainment for his Dad and out of kindness my boyfriend is unable to say no "I have my own life". How can I help my boyfriend manage this difficult situation? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, DIE-romantic. +, writes (22 July 2007):
 Tell your boyfriend how this is making you feel. Although there isn't much you can do about it, because it is just a father wanting to spend time with his son.
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (22 July 2007):
 If it is a problem, and he's coming to you to talk to you about it, you can help him by listening. If he's using his dad as an excuse to get out of the house, then that's a different issue all together. Make sure of the facts and see if he is with his dad or his mates.
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A
male
reader, toocomplicated  +, writes (22 July 2007):
I agree with the previous reply but it sounds like this goes a little too far and it's not healthy if "Dad" is making your boyfriend feel bad if he doesn't spend enough time with him. This isn't right. It implies that your boyfriend doesn't want to spend as much time with him. I would simply ask him about the situation. If he's happy with how everything is, then you're going to have to get over it, but if he agrees that his Dad needs to leave him alone a bit, I think you can work together to make a united front.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2007): I don't think your boyfriend has a problem, I think you do. He is close to his Dad and that is good. You want to portray this as being a "replacement spouse" but spending time with his Dad is not some emotionally unhealthy thing to do.
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