A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I've watched my dad for some time and watched him on the computer where he goes on dating sites and chats on msn with other women and when he left his phone in the bathroom once i checked and there were dirty messages and sick pictures of other women then once he realised his phone was there he got angry and nervous waiting to get his phone back... well he goes 'swimming' every day for like 2 hours and when i ask to go he say i cant because im not a member although I know he has like thirty free passes that he gets given that he never gives out. It might just be a pen pal(s) but how can i sure
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (8 September 2010):
 I would go to where he is apparently swimming take a friend with you, stake out the place, or ask the people at the entrance if your dad came through with his pass. Check the computer history or confront him about the messages on the phone..then tell him if he doesn't tell your mother then you will.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): This is a difficult situation for you to be in, and you show a lot of wisdom in asking for advice. Once you have read everyones advice, I am sure you will be able to decide what you agree with and what you don't, and make the decision that is best for you. My opinion is that you should discuss it with your mom or dad, or both. Depending on your relationship with your parents, your mom might be safest, you will know. Be true to yourself - you suspect something and its important to you to ask by the sounds of things - though understand that you may not get what you want, but I think its more important to be true to yourself, and let your parents respond however they choose to. Its also true to say that it is best to respect people's privacy and not look into their computer and phone information by choice, that's true, but its also natural to be curious too, and you can't chance what you have discovered. Be mindful of the choices you make too, and use your own experience of making choices to help you learn about the person you want to be. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): You don't need to find out if your Dad is cheating.
The discussion to have is one with your mum: "Do you think Dad is cheating on you?" I wouldn't mention the phone (since checking his phone was wrong) but simply his pattern of coming and going and how it matched what you read in Cosmo or somesuch.
If your Mum says "oh I don't think so dear" or something like that then drop it -- older people often reach understandings that younger people don't find acceptable. On the other hand she might say "I've often thought so" and you two can discuss things.
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (6 September 2010):
 sounds pretty obvious, I'd get some solid proof and confront your dad first about it. This way it gives him the chance to do the right thing: confess.
If he denys it, be creative (like jodieleigh's suggestion) and get some solid proof.
if he won't tell your mom, then you must. This is a big burden on you that you shouldn't have to bear. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Talk to him, tell him what you know and what you've seen. It's not good to spy on your parents. Tell him you think he's cheating. This will be enough to scare him and make him stop the strange things he is doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): From everything that you said you have found its pretty clear that hes cheating. You may not want to believe it but you need to take care of your mom. I think its terrible, you're probably under so much stress. I wish you and your family the very best of luck.:]
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A
female
reader, Morrissey-fan +, writes (6 September 2010):
You should tell your mum about the pictures. And don't try to investigate or your dad might get stupid about things as he panics.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010): talk to your dad my dear. tell him ur susspicions and try asking... If he starts getting nervous and angry again, u obvioussly know the answer. and when ur dad says he wants to go "sswimming" tell your mum u wanna go too and probably ur mum will tell ur dad to take you along....then u can really find out wat he'ss up to.
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A
female
reader, jodieleigh  +, writes (5 September 2010):
 follow him. sounds stalkerish but thats ok. bring a camera and take pictures if you see anything weird. get them developed and confront him.. if he denies it throw the pictures at him.. make sure you have a copy though.. or just give them to some one like a brother or your mam... just be there for your mother too.
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