A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,I got so stressed due to my long distance relationship.Hmm, both of us are High School students which is the most troublesome problem.. (he's in OH but i'm CA, we've met several times when we were in China, btw, we are Chinese.)Our time together is very limited, but i really care for him a lot. He's a junior and i'm a sophomore, he needs to prepare for his articles and apps, he told me that he can not pay attention to a relationship or something coz that would distract his attention from study, he longs for Harvard !I need to know how to deal with the depression that i feel not being able to see him. I really love him.(sorry for the length..)Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Long distance relationships are difficult but they can work. There are tons of things you can do to cope with your long distance relationship. Here's a list of 67 activities and ideas for LDR couples that I think you'll find helpful: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.htmFor you, from that list, I would recommend getting a webcam, using eyejot.com to send video messages to each other, and try to have live webcam chats. It's awkward at first but you get used to it.Doing the things on this list will help you interact with someone even though they are not physically with you, and that is soo important in long distance relationships. You need more interaction than just the phone or instant messaging. http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.htm
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Long distance relationships are difficult but they can work. There are tons of things you can do to cope with your long distance relationship. Here's a list of 67 activities and ideas for LDR couples that I think you'll find helpful: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.htmFor you, from that list, I would recommend getting a webcam, using eyejot.com to send video messages to each other, and try to have live webcam chats. It's awkward at first but you get used to it.Doing the things on this list will help you interact with someone even though they are not physically with you, and that is soo important in long distance relationships. You need more interaction than just the phone or instant messaging. http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.htm
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): (i'm the author)Hmm..thanx for ur suggestions..there's one thing out there still confused me..he said that he wouldn't pay much attention at least at present, maybe much more in the future or some day..I asked him "what relation am i to you" (who am i to you) last night, but i got the answer is "i don't know, leave it to the future"okay then i said "i love you, dear" but unfortunately i got no reply this time.we're clear that he's able to Harvard, we even planed to get married in like 4,5 years.. there's an old saying in Chinese, that is "Changes are always faster than plans".
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A
female
reader, shed  +, writes (25 January 2009):
hey i'm kind of in a similar situation as you are. i'm currently in germany for a year and my boyfriend is back home in england . i'm teaching for the year and he's on the last year of his degree.i can completely understand how you feel. half the time when we are on skype, he's doing uni work as well and i have a dissertation hanging over my head too. i think want you need to understand is that a long distance relationship can never really be the same as one where you are able to see each other physically all the time. while he's busy chasing after his educational prospects, try to find something for yourself to focus on - so you don't spend as much time pining after him (this helps honestly). also have you two talked about the future of your relationship? because you really should if you are in a long distance relationship. i get through it cus i know i'm going back home to share a life with my boyfriend. you need to find out what he wants - if you don't want the same thing then it's best to move on rather than torture yourself with a long distance relationship that may not go anywhere. i hope things go well for you and your situation works out for the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2009): (i'm the author)Thanks.well, we've been together like 41/2 months, i don't wanna be "brave" coz i love him so much.(yea i'm stubborn tho my mom told me not to focus much on him).
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A
female
reader, anon642 +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Hi, first of all, you say that he said ''he told me that he can not pay attention to a relationship or something coz that would distract his attention from study, he longs for Harvard !''I'm a little confused, are you actually in a relationship because that sounds as though he doesn't want one because of fear of distraction from study?But if you are..You must understand that if he longs for harvard then you've got someone who wants to make something good of themself so he's going to be going through some pretty stressful times.All i can suggest really is don't put too much pressure on each other and don't expect anything. Don't expect him to be online every night etc.I know what it's like and you'll have a lot of people telling you not to bother etc but it's entirely up to you aslong as you understand that it is going to be very hard but you will both have very important and stressful times ahead of you and therefore you shouldn't constantly talk about missing each other and really ''needing to see each other'' because you'll both survive with just talking through the internet and otherwise you putting unnecessary pressure on each other.You need to talk to him. I believe trust, honesty and communication is the key.All the best :)
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (25 January 2009):
 Long distance relationships are very very hard, sadly they very rarely work.
My partner lives a long way from me but at least I speak to him daily and see him every other weekend.
You dont even have this, he is being honest with you and telling you that he needs to keep his mind focused on study and sadly not on you.
You can carry on like this and just see him when you can, support him and accept that some contact with him is better than nothing, or you can be brave and finish it and remain friends and who knows if in the future when he has finished study he may come looking for you.
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