A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:i feel like im not good enough for my fiancee. he treats me like a princess and worships the ground i walk on. everything he does he puts me first im the main thing in his life. my past relationships were very abusive so i became used to abuse so a guy being nice to me feels weird. how can i make myself feel how i should and be happy i have a guy that loves me to bits?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2007): I understand where you are coming from, it is as if you are constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop....you have to start having trust first and foremost in yourself, trust that you can handle it if this relationship should hurt you in the future.
I think you are afraid to open up your heart completely to this man and you want to hold back a bit. You need to think back over the past relationships and see that on the other side of those bad relationships, you survived and you made it through and met someone wonderful....but you were the one who weathered all of that, so you need to stop being afraid of getting hurt again, if the worst happens and you do end up getting hurt, remember that you will survive, you have survived and life will always go on.
I think with that inner knowledge you can learn to relax and trust in yourself and your feelings and thus be happier....just take a self inventory of all your wonderful attributes and remember what a great person you really are and that no matter what happens you will always have you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2007): You're a very lucky girl. If he's as special as he sounds I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love to have him. But he's chosen to be with YOU! That's saying something right? You dont deserve to be treated rubbish, you deserve to be loved and treated right. He doesnt have to, but he has chosen to be with you.
When I was feeling a bit down I asked my boyfriend "what's your favourite thing about me?" Try that, I'm sure he'll reel off a long list of things he loves about u. Of course, I complimented my boyfriend what I love about him and were both on a high :)
xx
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
To get confidence in yourself, exercise often helps.
But it sounds like you might need some counselling too.
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A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (8 March 2007):
 You have not given a reason to explain why you are not good enough for your fiance.
It is possible that you have "subsconciously adjusted" to receiving abuse behaviour, accept this as normal. This has made a impact on your self esteem hence why you feel you do not deserve better. But you do.
Allowing yourself to be happy it is hard after being treated differently in the past.
Talk to your partner about it and let him know how you feel but be careful as you do not want to push him away.
Remind yourself daily of how lucky you are and be thankful that is it better now.
After a while, the new situation is the "normal behaviour" and it will not feel so weird.
Stay strong and be happy
Angel of Love
xxx
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I'm sure you would much rather he was like this to you than be abusive to you. Tell yourself he is LUCKY to have you. Remember we ALL have gifts within us, every single one of us. Sometimes it's just trying to find out what that is. It may be you are creative or are a good listener, you may be good at handling finances, you may be a good singer, dancer, good with figures, words...
Enjoy your relationship and learn to love yourself and who you are. Here are a few links for you to help you build up your confidence and self esteem.
http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence
http://pickbrains.com/how-do-i-build-up-my-confidence
http://www.selfesteem4women.com/index.php
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/self_esteem.htm
Let him know you care for him. Here are some ideas you can do to let him know...
Leave notes for him to find in his briefcase or his pocket. "Can't wait to get you home tonight" "Missing you heaps" "I thought of you today and it made me smile". Leave these in his shoes, his pockets, on his pillow, anywhere you can think of.
Or try this... When he comes home one night give him a present. Buy a small decorated cardboard box, a sheet of coloured tissue paper, some massage oil and a blank card. Line the box with the tissue paper. Place the massage oil in the box and write the following message on the card: I know a great Masseur. For an appointment ring: (Your Phone Number).
Or you could create some love coupons that your partner can exchange for romantic favours. View this link for some examples.
http://www.theromantic.com/lovecoupons.htm
All of these things will let him see you care for him, he'll love it! Just enjoy your relationship together and tell yourself you're lucky to have him but HE'S lucky to have you too and hope that in ten years time, you're still as happy.
Eve
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A
female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 God how lucky are you? This guy adores you and treats you so well. You have issues from your previous relationships which has knocked your confidence. You are good enough for your fiancee and be thankful he wants to make you happy. You really need to get your confidence back and realise that treating someone kindly and trying to make them happy is normal. You need to put the past behind you and look forward to the future.
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