A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:How can I deal with this drama at work?I have been at my job for a year now (big corporation) office type of environment - really Quiet I work in HR. We sit in cubicles and the people areoinf me (two male coworkers) are VERY noisy. We had a colleague fired last week because “someone” was writing down what time he came in and left and if he was late in the morning. I feel that these two coworkers are always watching me . They seem unhappy with their lives and they just want to investigate everything at work . When I have a day off they’ll ask me of where were u - when I stay late they’ll ask are u working overtime?Since my colleague got fired he confided in me that one of these coworkers used to mock me 1. How can I deal with these two men? I try to ignore them but it’s pissinf me of that they don’t mind their own bussinesa - in fact it’s getting under my skinI feel like I am swimming near sharks and I need to know how to act to make it out in this place?
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female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (25 March 2018):
And why exactly do you think you should believe your colleague? He was fired for his own inadequacies and as a parting gift, he gave you a bouquet of insecurity. If they were indeed talking shit about you then why didn't he say so earlier?
OP listen to everyone but don't let it affect you. Follow your heart, not what others say. Your colleague was fired... Of course he's not going to say anything good!
Keep a civil relationship with everyone, do your job right and don't get bothered by hearsay.
This is not a strong enough reason to get a transfer or to change jobs. There is not a single workplace environment where either the colleagues are not a problem or something else is not to one's liking. Unless you're an independent entrepreneur working from home, I doubt if you would find a place of work where absolutely everything and everyone is to your liking.
As for feeling hurt about the fact that those idiots are mocking you (if at all your colleague is to be believed), then you should realise by now that 99 out of 100 people that you meet will have nothing very good to say about you. If you're lucky then you'll find that one person who's truly good at heart. Someone will mock your fashion sense, someone will mock your weight, your work ethic, your family, your background... You name it. Other than learning not to give a rat's ass, you can't do anything about unfair criticism and mockery. Who hasn't been mocked OP? Name pine person that you know, a famous person, who hasn't been unfairly criticized. Kate Middleton is mocked for being mumsy and old, Meghan Markle for "trapping" Harry, Angelina Jolie for being loony, Jennifer Aniston for not being able to keep a man... And the person who's the king of being mocked is President Trump. Not a single day goes by when something derogatory isn't said about him; there was recently a picture by Jim Carrey where he depicted the President having sex with Stormy Daniels. If Trump had allowed detractors to bother him then he would have been dead by now!
My point is OP that there will be people everywhere that you don't like. You have to grow a thick skin and continue doing your work right. Don't go by what you hear. And don't let people bother you this easily.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): I run a big office and I've seen it all. The busybodies, the romancers, the big flirts, the chatterboxes, and the mean-spirits. No matter where you work, you'll find humans; and you'll find these personality-types.
You've got a couple of mean-spirits on your hands. There was a conspiracy to get rid of the guy; because one may have had a crush on the guy, maybe a failed fling, or perhaps he wasn't receptive to her or ignored her.
They are abusing their power; but it will become a pattern of getting rid of people they don't like. That's costly to the company; and a liability for unfair-discharge, due to prejudices that a good lawyer can have a field-day with.
The danger is a smart witness like you!
So the two ganged-up and had him fired. It's his own fault, for being late and irresponsible with his job. He gave them ammunition. Now he has given you ammunition. Use it to your advantage. You know what kind of people they are. Therefore, you know what you're dealing with. Don't give them the upper-hand by slacking-off. There will be office-politics wherever you go. You have to watch your back. That's the workaday-world. You've got bills to pay, you don't have time for foolishness and petty crap.
You can't go hopping from job to job, or location to location. You'll have to give a good reason, or it will be noticed if it happens too often.
You haven't worked there that long. Quitting or complaining when you haven't been there long shows signs of weakness under pressure, or a lack of reliability. You should be more focused on the job; and not petty-personalities! You only note character-traits for the sake of self-preservation. If you caught-on to what they're all about, surely the boss will! Give it time. What goes around, comes around!
You work in HR! It's all about human-resources! You're the control-center of the business, and you know things about people. Very private things. So you have to grow a thicker skin. Let professionalism and good-focus override your sensitivities to nonsense; and show them you aren't going anywhere. Not unless a better opportunity comes your way.
If you catch them mocking you, report it to your supervisor or the Director of Human Resources. They should know better than anyone about creating a hostile work-environment, or intimidating co-workers. Bide your time, sweetheart. I know all the rules and protections, as should you. Federal-law protects you from a hostile work-environment, intimidation, and sexual-harassment. Read your company policy manual! You have a code of ethics and conduct for a reason! Laws require them!
Venomous creatures like your co-workers are everywhere and will keep you on the run. Success comes form sticking to the job, and riding-out the bumps and challenges. Showing your boss how focused and reliable your are; and showing your co-workers you are the master of your own fate. They're not your boss, and they don't get to decide if you stay or not.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (24 March 2018):
 Keep your head down, do your job and don't give them ANY ammunition.
What they think of you is irrelevant. Their mocking of you says everything about them and absolutely nothing about you. If they are talking about you behind your back, you are living rent free inside their heads. Don't let them do the same to you.
If they pry for information you don't feel comfortable sharing with them, just be polite but vague. Say something like "I had things to do" and change the subject. They have to right to know what you do in your free time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): Doesn't sound like a nice working environment. Personally I would consider looking for another job.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2018):
 Look for a transfer? There might be another office or branch you can work at where the environment is better. Not saying that is your only choice but it IS a viable choice.
You can't change how these two twats act. If nothing they are doing in against company policies. I DO think people like this will eventually turn on each other. Two sharks in a small pond will not get along forever.
What can you do? Do your job, be polite, be professional and if they ASK intrusive, personal or none of their business kind of questions... TELL them (I'd use humor to deflect) none of your business. If NEITHER of them are a supervisor or "superior rank" they have no "right" to know anything you do NOT want to share.
They KNOW they are getting under your skin. That is my guess. And if they ARE pretty drama-llamas as you describe them I'd be very mindful of NOT showing how much they affect you.
If they mock you behind your back? So what? It doesn't mean there is ANYTHING wrong with you, but with them. I mean HOW old are these guys? Like I said, you are dealing with a couple of immature dram-llamas who are looking to shape the office. Don't think for a second that what you DO share with them can be used against you.
Not a good environment and that is why my first suggestion is to see if there is a job transfer open or other jobs (that you could be interested in) open ELSEWHERE.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): It depends... are you truly happy in the job, or do you want out? It sounds toxic.
If you are truly happy where you are then you should take steps to fix it. No one should have to deal with this stress. Communication and dialogue- they're so important. Can you talk to these co workers and diplomatically tell them how much their behavior is bothering you?
They sound really immature!
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