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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I hope someone can help.Every now and then,i get panic attacks.I think about death,and not being able to see family or friends again,e.t.c,and start shaking,get out of breath,and a couple of times,have even screamed with fright.How can i control this ? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Thanks Diovanlestat. You're a good friend! Well I'd consider us friends now as we've got to know each other more.I nearly cried as I was reading your post! The things you said about me made me feel emotional. Well by that I mean happy and even more willing to try things.I'm surprised by employers who have rejected me,as you would think they would want a pleasant and smart person working for them.It can be tough competition looking for a job,but i will try my best.I dont live in the best area really,lol.Just a small town that's far away from places that have more going on.That's why i'd like to move away eventually.That's why i mentioned Blackpool,as it's nearer than other holiday places,which might be best at first.Are you from the U.K ?. I'm guessing you are with you mentioning Pontins and Butlins.Unless you're from somewhere else but just know about those places ?.I'll keep you posted with how it's going.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Don't forget the Christmas period.. If you've done retail experience then you might be able to some work in shops. I know it's not what you really want, but it's an idea. I think vacancies come out in November... you got no confidence... lol.. Well you've fooled me. I think you got tons of confidence and your smart and you've got a lot of motivation and drive. You came here to DC. You told complete strangers about your problems in a intelligent and clear manner. You've been able to take advice and you've got started on creating the type of life you want. I was expecting to hear back from you in a week or two, but no, tomorrow is too slow for you, you've grabbed the ball and your running with it, I don't think I can keep up with you... lol... You've shown tons of confidence, intelligence and in your responses you have a kind and pleasant nature. Remember I'm a stranger, and I can see this all clearly just by what you have written here on DC. You will be a treasure to any employer who has eyes to see and bloody common sense. You have made me smile, and you have given me a little motivation as well to start trying to sort out my own life. Thank you for coming here to DC. We may have helped you, but I know you definitely have helped me with your youthful optimism, your motivation and your get up and go..
Thanks you once again babes.. Now I'm signing off to do something as useful as you... lol... Good luck at the job centre.. Big hugs, blessings and all the happiness in the world coming at you, because I think you deserve it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): You're really sweet and kind,diovanlestat.Thanks for your help.
I have an appointment with my advisor at the jobcentre on Monday,where we will discuss my plans for work.I will mention about Blackpool,and training courses,and maybe some other things.
I've never really had much confidence,but i know sometimes you have to try and overcome it and start work anyway,as everyone has to work to make money to survive.I think it's best if you can find a job you're comfortable and happy with,although i know it doesnt always work out that way.Plus it does get very boring at home,i'm there most of the time.And i feel that life is passing me by.
I live with my dad,my parents are divorced,and i feel bad that i cant help him at the moment and that he is going out to work.He's at pension age,i was born late into his life,my mum is alot younger than him.I am trying my best though.
I think Blackpool start recruiting in January,but you actually start work in February,and i'm guessing it can be for afew months,at the least.Maybe something short term will come up before then aswell,that's if i manage to get on at Blackpool too,but i wont get my hopes up.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): I think this is a brilliant plan. You are now taking positive steps to control your future. As far as I know Blackpool is a huge entertainment and tourist industry and it should have some opportunities in your chosen career. You might get knock backs, babes, and rejections. But don't let these get you down, these are a part of life, and if you don't try, you won't succeed. Support is available from the government on CV's, training, and getting back to work, and you might even be eligible to get your fares paid for transport. Contact your local council employment and training office. Most councils in Britain have a very good website. There is now a scheme which pays you something like £40 when you first take up work to help you out.
I love that you are willing to work, and are agreeable to taking a starting job in the hotel or restaurant trade. Get your local council, library or job centre to help you find work. They will provide tons of information and help you with application forms and may even have some work available so that you can get more experience. Employers like hard working people with initiative, and if you can show how hard you have tried to get work, it will impress them a lot. A current CV with all your details and experiences is important and they can help you out with this.
You are doing brilliantly babes, don't give up, it will all work out in time, and it will definitely help with the panic attacks which are often caused by stress. Please keep us updated on your circumstances and situation, we would love to celebrate with you once you have found yourself a job.
Panic attacks: Getting yourself into good health will also help with this. Make sure you go to bed early and get enough sleep. Eat healthy nutritious food and make sure you do a little exercise everyday. You don't have to go to the gym, even putting on some music and dancing around a little will help your heart out and put you under less stress. Start living a life of health and positivity. Remember it's what you CAN DO that matters, not what you can't. Good luck babes, may my thoughts and blessings for your future happiness go with you at all times.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2008): Diovanlestat,i really like your suggestions.
I've sent an email to ask about any job vacancies in Blackpool,it's about 45 mins away by train,i think.Or it might be abit further.It takes less than an hour to get there anyway.That's just to the station though,would be even further to actually get to the place i would be staying at.I'd like to try a holiday resort nearer to home first,as obviously it's nearer than Butlin's,e.t.c.I've asked if there is any live-in accomodation aswell,as the job i do would probably be seasonal work,so i wouldnt be living there permanently.It would be too far to travel there and back everyday from where i live obviously.
I've asked about hotel,restaurant and amusement park jobs,such as being a chamber maid,or hotel receptionist,or a waitress,bar person or working on a ride in the amusement park or on one of the stalls,e.t.c.To be honest,i havent had experience in any of these,but i wonder if they can train you ?.I've done admin work before,but not reception,and done retail work.
This would get me used to being away from home aswell,and not too far,well not as far as the other end of the country,or another country,anyway.And it could prepare me incase i ever can get to America,and it will help raise money for it.That kind of work would keep me active aswell.
I'll think of some more suggestions aswell.
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reader, VictoriaK  +, writes (15 October 2008):
 I am not an expert in "panic attacks" however, I get them often, about 3 times a day. I take medication for this. My doctor says that when you feel like you're about to have a pain attack to go lie down in a dark room, and slowly count backwards from 200. Sounds weird but it works. Especially if you dont take meds for this ailment. The counting backwards make you focus on the numbers, and in turn makes you forget about death. There are only 2 guarantees in this life, and that is death and taxes. Sorry to put it that way, but we all have to realize that unless someone is going to find the Fountain of Youth and share it with all the rest of us, that we are going to die in due time. God has a reason for everything that he does, and if you're religious, then I suggest you seek God, Allah, Budda or what have you for some spiritual guidance. If you come to love God, then you will soon find that death doesn't scare you as it once did. If you're not religious, then I would suggest that you talk to a family member or friend, and get your feelings out. Keep up posted, and Good Luck
Victoria~
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): Right babes, you are rushing too fast, you are acting like you will die tomorrow. I understand, I used to be like that. I was always on the go, learning new things, having new experiences, I even tried learning languages whilst I was asleep. No resting, no relaxing, life was too short, I didn't want to sleep because I thought sleep was a waste of time. Guess what. The body and the mind broke down. They couldn't carry on with the pace of living I had set myself. Now I am forced to take things slowly. I didn't know how delicate the body and the mind was, until I lost all my strength. I don't want this to happen to you. You must live life for life's sake, when you rush and hurry you miss the most important things in life. Life is a process, it's every single beautiful second, good and bad, happy and sad, this is what makes life beautiful. Not looking at the past that is already dead and gone, not rushing towards a future that you may never reach. Look at what you have, make the best of now.
Try the exercises that have been given you, learn to slow down and enjoy the moment. The Buddhist have an eating exercises which teaches you to slow down and enjoy your food. Have you ever eaten an apple, I mean really eaten an apple with all your consciousness and focus fixed upon your food. Apples are red, but they can be bright red, blush pink, red with a little green. Look at the apple, notice the sunshine that highlights it, really look at the apple. Then touch it, feel the apple, is it round, or is it bumpy. Is it a full circle, or is it oval. Then eat the apple, notice the crunch, is it cold, is it warm? How much juice dose it make, what dose the juice feel like on your tongue. Is it sweet, is it sour. There are many ways to eat an apple, but we really spend the time to notice exactly what the apple tastes and feels like. The only time we ever experience eating an apple properly is when we are starving and we know that apple is the last food we will get for days.
Think Charlie and the Chocolate factory, you may have read the book or seen the film. For charlie, the last chocolate bought with a penny he had found was the most beautiful chocolate in the world because he took time to eat it, and so he enjoyed it more. That's what I want for you. Not tons of experiences, but small experiences full of memories and quality, this is what you will remember, this is the difference between experiencing life and merely rushing through it and hurrying towards death.
Contact your local Voluntary association, you should have one near you. If you pm me and give me your location, It will be easier to see what type of activities are in your area. Voluntary groups are looking for people with all different kinds of skills. You could get together like minded people and put on a show and some entertainment for the older folk and disabled people in your area. There is tons you could do right at this moment at home. You present as aged 22-25. Tell your mother you love her, but you need to live your life in your own way. Holiday camps like Butlins and Pontins take people your age, you get paid, the work is hard, but you are expected to perform and it's an easy way to get an equity card. You can also contact some of the American holiday camps, that are looking for people your age to run summer schools. Again the work is paid and you will get to travel and meet tons of people.
Optimism and hope will take you further than negativity and despair. Don't think about what you can't do, but look at your problems, think how you can overcome it, and what solution will suit you best. The world is a very forgiving place to 20year olds, and there are tons of opportunities. You just need to make yourself a clear plan of what you want to do, and how your going to get it. Dwelling on death and failure will find you wasting your life and the opportunities you have missed by being so negative. Phone your local council and get advice on voluntary activities today. Your on benefits, so you have spare time. Contact your local theatre and offer to work 21 hours (government limits) for free... Make your own opportunities darling, claim your future, because the future is as golden as you decide to make it. Good luck, you can private mail me or any of the aunts on board if you need more help, but don't forget to drop us a note and update your post so we can all see how your getting on.
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reader, Just Her  +, writes (14 October 2008):
Hi, I think you may need to talk to your Doctor. Also, if you are so panicked about the attacks, you need to calm down. Don't worry so much about them otherwise they will get worse. I used to have them, so i suggest that If there is something in your life that is really making you upset/stressed etc. try and cut it out of your life, or reduce it. It helps a lot.
You may not want to take me seriously, as i am olny 14, but I do know what I'm talking about
And another thing, Relax and keep a paper bag in your bag at all times. It can help your breathing
And good Luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2008): I also feel that i want to do everything i want to do,while i'm still young,and because youu never know when your time will be up.I know sometimes you cant,because it might be too expensive,or there could be other reasons it's not possible.
For example,i've heard that one of my favourite actors,he isnt very well known,but has been in tv shows and films,teaches acting classes in america.I'd love to have the opportunity to go there,say for a couple of weeks or something,but,because i live in the U.K,and because i dont have ajob yet,i dont think this will be possible.I've tried so hard to get a job,but jobs,especially for people in their twenties like me,arent easy to get here these days.I know alot of people around my age are out of work.I do have some money coming in,from benefits,but it isnt much.I'm not sure if my family could contribute any money either,and unless i have a job,they will have to contribute most of it,which wouldnt be fair.You can join and leave the classes when you want,so i could just go to a couple of classes,as they are once a week.It might seem funny,but i feel better when i do acting.I have had some acting experience before.
Also,if i did get the chance to go there,i'd want to go with a friend,but i dont have any friends here who i could go there with.I wish i could make an online friend who could go,but,if they lived here,i would meet them here first,just so we could get to know each other first.I'd preferably like to go with a female who is a similar age.I'm not sure about anyone older,or i suppose they could be abit younger.
My parents have always been overprotective with me too,and i'm not sure if they would let me go,although i am old enough to decide for myself.
And,of course,i'd love to have some hobbies here that i could do.If anyone has any suggestions,or if there is anyone who lives in the north west area of england,where i am from,and knows of any jobs available,i would appreciate your suggestions.Maybe there is an employer here who would be willing to give me a chance ?.I suppose i could start a seperate topic for that aswell if no one knows about that here.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): PS: I've just seen your response. We need you to get a hobby or an interest, something that will take up your time. Try voluntary work, take up a language, try cooking or try to become a agony aunt here on DC. You've too much time on your hands.
When we die, it is a beautiful moment. Our bodies don't just disappear, but they crumble and go on living in the big scheme of things. Nothing really disappears. You have children and your genes continue living through them. Your body fertilizes the ground and helps things to grow. We are all part of this big beautiful universe. Your life and how you've lived it, changes the world. Don't be afraid of death. Be glad that you have been given life, and make sure you use it to the best. I don't believe we really die, I just believe we change our form..
As the bible says "dust to dust", but it doesn't say "you will disappear".. Death is but a sleep before we return again in a million different ways. But that's my view of life and death. You must find one that makes you feel stronger rather than weaker.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): Hi Miss,
You have received some brilliant advice from Wiggles and the other people on this board. Please try them out. Don't just read them and forget, but actually try to use some of the techniques whenever you feel the panic coming on.
The human brain is a funny thing. Panic is an emotion, and yes it is very real and very frightening, I am so sorry that you are suffering from this. My friend once had bad panic attacks that were ruining her life. She trained herself to ignore them by realising that they are just an emotion like fear, joy, jealously or anger. If you don't fight the fear, but watch it, accept it and acknowledging that you are frightened, you might find it goes away after a little while. Emotions that we accept and try to work with loose their power and their hold over us. That's why the deep breathing works. We think about being calm and peaceful and the brain gets hooked on that. Because you are scared of your feelings and you try to turn them away, they get stronger and more powerful.
I once read a great book, that said, imagine your panic attack as a big ugly bear, who is following you around and trying to ruin your life. Laugh at him, tell him that your not frightened, tell him (panic attack) that you know his game is to make you unhappy, but you've got better things to do with your life. A good book, a classic is "Feel the fear and do it anyway" by Dr. Suzanne Jeffries. Please read this book, or something like this, and it will explain how your feeling and how to tackle it. You can also go to your doctor for further advice. Doctor's are used to such emotions and they will have many more suggestions to help you out.
I am glad that you came here to DC... Millions of people in the world suffer this pain in silence. You can retrain your mind to get rid of these feelings. But you need to realise at the end of the day your feelings are normal, it's just your brain playing tricks with you, and if you give it something else to do, it will turn it's attention to that. Take care, tell the ugly beast to go away. I wish you well. Blessings.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): And just to add, I also spend time on the internet ,and reading, watching films, listening to music, etc when I'm at home to try and take my mind off things.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2008): Thanks for your replies.I really appreciate it.What i cant understand,is if we are supposed to fear dying,why do we have to die in the first place,and why are we alive if we are going to die at some point ?.Of course,we dont know the answer to that.As wiggles said,if there is a god,why do we have to experience this trauma ?.I dont understand..A family member,who doesnt know about my panic attacks,told me they had read somewhere about what happens to your body after you die,and it really scared me.I also watched a scary film last night,which didnt help.I have also lost a couple of family members at young ages,and i am only young myself.I think i may be a hypochondriac aswell,as i worry alot everytime i am ill,whether it is something minor or major.For example,if i have a stomach ache or headache.I have alot of moles that i've had from birth aswell,and some new ones, and i am constantly checking them,as i've heard that if they change,you should see a doctor.I never know when to visit the doctor or when not too,as if it turned out to be nothing,i would feel like i have wasted the doctors time.I've also had some breast pain aswell before,on one of them and i'm not sure if it's hormonal or what.I dont have a job at the moment,so i spend alot of time on my own,which doesnt help.It does help when i am around people though.I get so upset though thinking that some day i will never see them again.
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reader, Swedie  +, writes (13 October 2008):
Hello Miss, I am exactly where you are. I got those attacks every now and then, and it's painful. It's impossible to descirbe the fear since its only exists during the few seconds or minutes while you get the panic attack. It feels so distant when you are free from it. But the panic that you are talking about are so painful when it gribs in you.I feel you, and I just want you to know that you are not alone of feeling like this. I thought I was the only one who felt like this, but then a wonderful lady showed me this thread, and for the first time in my whole life, I meet someone who have those attacks aswell.It's hard to control the attacks. But this lady told me about a breathing exercise. Which has helped me control how I breathe. I can give you a tip, try to do things, and be with friends. Go the movies, make a dinner or whatever, makes you think less of dying and the attacks. And what I think is the most important is to talk to someone about it. I always kept it inside of me, until I spoke to this lady. She's the only one who really knows, but it does still feel good that you can share it. Believe me, it will feel so much better if you talk to someone. The attacks will start to fade, little by little. Miss, All I can tell you is, Try to stay positive. Always think positive, don't go down in a black hole, getting depressed is the worst thing that can ever happen to you. It get worse then. Try to stay around other people, like friends and family members, or anyone you truly trust. I wish you the best of luck, who ever you are, keep fighting. Don't run from your fears, don't run from yourself. Confront your fears. And conquer them. Take care Miss,Keep fighting, 3
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reader, cloudnine-andbeyond +, writes (13 October 2008):
 i get panic attacks too, kinda about the same thingsjust breath deeply and focus your mind on something else. i play sudoku or tetris but you could try word-searches or cross-words or something. i'm not sure how you could control them because they are to do with your brain and drugs arent the way forward. contact me if you wanna talk about itgood luck!! X
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reader, Merisier +, writes (13 October 2008):
my opinion for you is that whenever you feel like that, try to get on your knee and pray God, he has answer for every one.
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