A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Can anyone suggest ways in which I can improve my life ?My life at the moment is empty and all I seem to do is exist. I have no social life, friends, girfriend or anything positive to look forward to. Im a descent looking guy (apparently) and can make anyone laugh but I have huge problems making friends. Because im never in a situation to make friends I actually dont know how. It sounds kind of pathetic but its a skill I simply don't have. How do you meet people then move into the friends category without seeming like you are imposing yourself ?To make things worse I get quizzed all the time by family asking if I have a gf etcMy 21st is round the corner and my family have always had huge partys for theirs. Not that i'd want a party anyway, but its really hit home that im alone in every sense of the word. I picture myself sitting and crying on my birthday and its pretty depressing.Any and all advice would be appreciated Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Hi
Picture yourself having a great birthday and above all a great life!!!!! Never picture the negative or this is what we attract. How we view ourselves is of paramount importance in attracting positive life experiences.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): you sound like a nice guy and if you tend to make people laugh you shouldn't have a problem making friends and finding a girl. I think maybe you try to hard.. when you meet somebody and talk to them you usually know then if your going to be friends or not. some people click and some people don't. its harder to meet different people if you don't get out much so if you don't get out you need to. just go out to a club or something.. relax, have fun and you really shouldn't have any problems meeting people. I wish I could say something more helpful but I really don't understand, if your fairly good looking and funny, I don't see how anyone wouldn't want to hang out with you and be friends.. or how you don't have girls hanging all around you.. because girls love guys with a sense of humor.
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A
female
reader, michele21  +, writes (5 November 2008):
 well sweety you didn't have any friends in high school that you still talk to?? never had like one best friend that you associated with at all??? i just find it strange that u have no one in your life u talk to or a girlfriend if u say u are a attractive guy...you gotta just go out anywhere just don't be shy life is too short just make conversation make up something say your new to the area or ask directions somewhere than strick up a conversation...do you have a job?? you can always make friends at work.....well good luck in life hope everything works out for you
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A
female
reader, Lost_Soul85 +, writes (5 November 2008):
Hmmmmmm, a good place to make new friends is at college. If you are not in education why don't you try a short course at your local college (night school or a part time day course). It would provide a solid foundation on which to build up your social skills as you would be meeting and getting to know people week in week out. Maybe after a few weeks you could suggest to someone you feel a spark with if they'd like to go out for a drink after class(socially or romantically!)
Alternatively maybe try a social group or club - where I live there is a spiritual healing group that does meditation on Saturday mornings - look in your local paper for an activity that appeals to you, there should be plently of groups about - dancing is a good one because you'd need a partner to dance with! Don't be bashful or shy, that was something that inhibited me when I found myself in your shoes a few years back. Eventually I got to the point where I said to myself, "I don't care what people think of me, I'm going to go out and get myself some friends" - I found a social group I was interested in and made some lifelong friends in the process.
If your feeling really daring maybe try speed dating, its not something I've tried myself but I can imagine it being quite intensive - just throw yourself in and see what happens, presumambly everyone else on a speed dating night would be in the same boat, looking to meet new people.
Like I said, don't be bashful or shy! Just get out there! Theres loads of people in the world and once you meet a couple of new people, loads more are bound to follow.
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