A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband gets up really early in the morning for work. This is also when all the porn is on. I understand men wake up excited and need a release. My problem is I feel like I'm being compared later when we have sex or I am naked in front of him. He says absolutly not. I have had two c-sections and 50lb. weight loss. My body is FAR from beautiful. I know he thinks the pornstars are beautiful or he wouldn't watch. How can he expect me to believe him when he says I am beautiful also?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): I watch porn, and I don't compare their boners to my boyfriend's. I had a boyfriend who watched crazy porn, but I was not offended at all. He told you he doesn't compare you, and if your sex is fun and regular...really, you are all that you have, and you are gorgeous..even if you're are not a model or even remotely symmetrical in the face, that should not stop you from loving yourself and realize there is no reason to feel insecure about his fantasies/porn, because you may find you have fantasies as well! Just break out because having good sex in bed with him will make you beautiful to him, feel attractive cause you are! ;)As well as all the other qualities that made you his wife.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 January 2008):
 Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When some one loves you , he thinks you are beautiful even if you don't look like a porn star. You don't have to look like a porn star because those women are only playthings and not wife materials.
There are good women and bad women. Both men and women like to look at beautiful women. The men just admire while the women compares to them.Women are insecure and have low self esteem when they find the other women is more beautiful than them.
When the men watch porn , they know they are not in her class and what is real is their wife. Porn and wife are two separate compartments. It is just like oil and water. There is no comparison. They can only watch but not touch .
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (26 January 2008):
 I dont blame you i have felt the same way .... And have found that since my husband ask for a divorce that he has been looking at girls thinner then myself and not even close to my build ... I know why you feel the way you do...And it is hard to beleive him when he says you are beautiful .. Makes you think doesnt it??????
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A
female
reader, diamondz +, writes (14 January 2008):
Does it means something if what he's watching doesn't really look like you ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2008): sorry Nick but dont men realise that we want them to consider our hearts AND bodies beautiful.....if they dont see us that way then we are better off finding someone who does....your statement is plain hurtful as if to say she could never be as beautiful as the women in porn so he MUST have meant her heart....
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A
male
reader, Nick838 +, writes (9 January 2008):
He may not be talking about your body when he says that, he could be talking about your heart.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): Honey you cant believe him. Men just dont get it, do they. If women devoted their time to looking up images of huge men if you know what I mean they would be freaking out. But they think its ok to that to us. Its become part of society to accept it. The worse thing is that womens bodies undergo so much more change in life than mens yet they still try to measure women on a scale of 18 and flawless. We give them babies, work so hard and they denigrate us by deciding the body of a young , childless woman will be the ideal Te glorisfy this type of body and ignore or worse still put down the bodies of the other 99.9% of women.If their bodies underwent what we egularly go through with pregnancy they would hae special counsellor for every man. It would be a crimina offese to put down a 'fathers' body...but ecause in their eyes we are 'only women ' it is OK as far as they are concerned to compare and rate us
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): I know right where your coming from. Studies have shown that exposure to even mild porn DOES cause men to rate their partners as less attractive...
http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/stories/2007/1881621.htm
The girl below obviosly doesnt realise that and takes her husbands wrd as gospel...men will say anything for sex BTW...
You have the right to expect your partner to save his sexual eyes for you and you alone...YOU ARE worth It...a alot of peope say its insecure girls who dont like their men watching porn when it is actually insecure girls who accept it...They feel that they are not enough or that he would not be visually satisfied with just her....
My usband and I are in couselling for this very issue...after many sessions it came out that he was on a sub consscious level comparing me unfavourably to his porn stars...after all if the men held us moms with stretch marks and c section scars (I have them too) as the ideal , then women who looked like us would be all over the mags....
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A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (28 December 2007):
 I am with ya girl!!! Three c-sections and being 40 lbs heavier than when we met have made me FAR from perfect!!! My husband is a very sexual person, he enjoys watching porn, I know about it. I don't think it's a matter that he doesn't think you're beautiful, but men's brains are hard-wired to look at other women. Check out the book "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, she goes in to this in some detail. And, as women, we're constantly comparing ourselves to other women! Don't let his 'activies' fool you into thinking he doesn't think you're beautiful. Usually I find out that when I start to think that, it's my own insecurity that's getting the best of me.
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A
male
reader, Tridar +, writes (27 December 2007):
 Well my gf is a bbw and has had a couple kids. Her body is not perfect, however I find her very beautiful and sexy. I like women with her build, but it's just not her body. I find the person she is makes her beautiful also. Now if I look at porn, I look at women built like my gf. But like I tell her, I'd rather be the porn than see the porn.
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