A
female
age
41-50,
*ic8
writes:I was friends this older man and all i wanted a frienship, but somehow it lead to being more than just that. He wanted more but i did not because of the age difference. Later in the last year I ended the relationship and continue the friendship. In that same year he jumps up and gets married (i am fine with that) but he still wanted to the intimacy part. Lord knows that i have tried and tried to end this thing because everyday i feel guilty of what i was doing. I could never find a way out of this realtionship and i guess because i was feeling to sorry for him. I prayed everyday this horrific thing i am doing will end and 6 months later (to this date) my knight in shining armor arrives. I have known him for a year beforehand. About a week ago I was having a conservation with the older man letting him know that it is over and i want to move on.... Lo and behold with out me knowing.. his wife was listening on the other phone. I have ask god for forgiveness everyday and deep down i did not want any of this to happen. I just want it to end. I have already went a whole year and getting the blame for this by another woman. Now it is happening again. This woman wasnts me to ask her for forgiveness and she will forgive me. I want to apolozie but i don't want to apologize for something that i have been trying to end this entire time. I just want this to go away. HELP SOMEONE
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female
reader, pic8 +, writes (28 December 2007):
pic8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHere is the update..... His wife started to email me and was asking for a apology. I had to change my phone number because she keeps calling me but she doesn't want me to call her. We both work at the same place just different department. I sent a email last night apologize to her. even though i hate my job and i have been searching for another... this is just another nail in the coffin for me to leave. Like i said i had ask god for forgiveness... i am not asking for forgivness from her.
A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (28 December 2007):
 Keep in mind that there are some battles you will *never* win, and making sure it's known that you didn't initiate the 'affair' will probably be one of those things you will never win! The older guy I was with initiated anything, and no matter how much I explained, I could never really make his wife understand that he initiated it. Heck, I didn't even know he was married until we were 3 months into the relationship! No, I wasn't some oblivious dumb girl who couldn't see the obvious, his wife lived in another state, he had his own apartment and NEVER had any pictures up of her, he just neglected to tell me until a coworker informed me and I found his wedding ring stashed in his dresser...
The best thing to do is just try to avoid him, you've apologized to the woman, just drop this situation like a hot potato and move on with your life.
GOOD LUCK!!! I hope you find the 'Knight in Shining Armor' that you deserve!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007): For this womans sake apologise but good advice is to change every part of your contact details possible and tell him that if he comes near you you will get a court order to keep him away or you will contact the police regarding his harrassment. This should work. He sounds a bit screwed up - which is a concern. Make sure this does not escalate and affect your safety. All the best.
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A
female
reader, pic8 +, writes (28 December 2007):
pic8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i did apologize in a letter (communicate in email)
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A
female
reader, pic8 +, writes (28 December 2007):
pic8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell... the wife was sending me emails and i just did an apology letter so... i did all i can do and i am not looking fo r forgivenss but i am looking for another job
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A
female
reader, pic8 +, writes (28 December 2007):
pic8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not have a problem to apologize but the problem i have is that he won't tell his wife that he is the one that start this whole thing. I wanted to get out everyway possible. It is coming out like i started this whole thing. Plus me and this other person works in the same place
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A
female
reader, pic8 +, writes (28 December 2007):
pic8 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do not have a problem to apologize but the problem i have is that he won't tell his wife that he is the one that start this whole thing. I wanted to get out everyway possible. It is coming out like i started this whole thing
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A
female
reader, mama2three +, writes (27 December 2007):
I think you should apologize. How did he contact you? Through email, telephone? I had been in a similar situation with a married older man who also wanted to keep me on the side. I changed my phone number, my email address, and I refused to speak with him if I 'ran' into him in public. Tell him to leave you alone if he contacts you again, better yet, don't give him the opportunity!
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