A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I were really close, together for 2 yrsa. Lived together...even have a beautiful baby together (1yr old). About 9 months ago we got into a huge fight and I never went back home....she said sorry (as usual) but this time I didn't want to go back because I know her and knew that if I left she would better herself, and she did! We get along much better now.However, along the way she's been in love with me asking if we could be together...I didn't want to, the arguments kinda pushed me away. In turn I pushed her away, I started dating someone else and kept telling her to move on. She finally did too, months passed and she had sex with that guy once (with protection) but still got pregnant. She cried and cried but couldn't do an abortion....her being pregnant by another guy hurts me so much everytime I look at her. The guy isn't in the picture...Her and I are still really close. She, myself, and our daughter are together almost everyday. She expresses how much she loves me, I'm her bestfriend, and is so upset about the pregnancy. She also feels that everything happens for a reason and every child is a gift. I agree its just hard for me, I wanted to get back with her someday she's a good person. But I just can't see me being with her knowing that one of the kids isn't mine... advice please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Caring Guy is right, it sounds like you make better friends than lovers, you should keep it that way.
As friends you're caring, loyal, affectionate, you work well. But as lovers it just doesn't work, you fight all the time and just don't get on.
That's the way it is sometimes. I think your feelings the fact that that you have a better relationship now makes you think she's bettered herself and if it wasn't for this new pregnancy your relationship would be great again. You're wrong though, it's the friendship that is going well, she's a better person to you because you're just friends now.
You have a great relationship with her now as friends, don't destroy all your hard work by getting into another romantic relationship with her. You can be just as close and things are going really well now. You would only mess that up, things would go back to being the same again and your daughter is the one that would miss out, having two parents that keep fighting for something that won't work and only brings them stress and misery. At the moment your daughter has two happy loving parents that care deeply about each other and have a great friendship. Don't step back into the quagmire of arguments and misery.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 November 2010):
If you two couldn't make it work when you were together with one child, there is no way that you two will make it work now when she's pregnant with another baby by someone else.
It seems to me that this relationship just won't work out. You've even admitted that since being apart, you've got on far more than you did before. You would do better not to get back, and focus on your child with her. I don't see it working out any other way.
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A
male
reader, not fat +, writes (28 November 2010):
one of the greats men i ever knew what my step dad. buck it up bro, that baby will be your kids brother or sister. there are times in life when you have to step up even when you dont want to.
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