A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does anyone have any advice on how to get over a girl who has a boyfriend? And any advice on how to be happy being single?I have lots of friends and I'm busy with interests but have been single for 2 years now. I'm not happy anymore. I'm not actively seeking anyone - Iv tried dating sites but they havent worked for me.I know that someone will come along when you least expect it but until then, how can i be happy being single? its really depressing when you find a girl you really like and then it turns out she has a biyfriend. Im not sure what to do. Just feel really depressed.Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2012): Hi,I'm afraid there is no easy and quick way of getting over someone, but you can try talking things through to a trusted friend, try to do things you enjoy, maybe try new things? Now, the key to being happy while being single is I'd say, not to think too much about your "single status". A lot of people are in relationships yes, but you don't know how many people are in relationships and actually settled for little. It may not be everyone, but bear in mind that some couples may not be happy ones even if appearances can make you think so. I think that in order to make the most of your single life, you need to think about how you can take better care of your emotional needs. Make a list of things that make you happy, and another one where you'll write down what upsets you. Then try and find strategies to deal with whatever brings you down, it'll take time and some practice to find out what works for you but I promise you, you'll be happier because you will know yourself better.;)If you can be happier, you can be more confident about life, by being more positive you'll see that people will be drawn to you. It will require regular self-examination but it can be done. ;) Also I'm sorry about you finding out that the girl you liked had a boyfriend. What you need to tell yourself is: "Can't be blamed for showing interest" and "There is plenty of fish in the sea". Speaking of that, the more you'll be making connections with other people the more likely you are to meet that special someone. So don't just stick to old friends, be social, it doesn't matter if people don't always go beyond the superficial keep trying, because there are people like you who would love to make that connection, make a new friend. Good luck! :)
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Picture her boyfriend as a very cold-blooded bastard who would kill you if you approached her, and that will help.
Also, think of yourself as being the boyfriend and Bastard as the man flirting with her so she would dump you. That will help even more.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): "I know that someone will come along when you least expect it but until then, how can i be happy being single? . . . Im not sure what to do. Just feel really depressed."Simply read any random day's worth of Dear Cupid posts and you'll soon be ecstatic realizing you're not one of any dozens of people who have wasted years of their lives being miserable and unhappy in dysfunctional, unhealthy relationships yet they absolutely refuse to just walk away. Every day you're single is another day you haven't added more baggage to carry into your next relationship. Here's advice from the Stone Age: casually inform your friends, women preferred, that you'd be interested in enjoying some female companionship for dinner and social events but dating sites haven't worked so you're seeking a more personal connection. Friends who know your personality and interests usually have a good idea whom among their friends might be a good match, probably better than you at judging compatibility. Introductions via trusted mutual friends brings immediate commonality, also lets the other know intentions are honorable and genuine from the start. Just like job searching, most promising opportunities usually come via networking. Use your friends and interests to your advantage. In the meantime continue your pursuits and appreciate this time in your life: you're young, no standing obligations, any woman from any walk of life can cross your path at any moment and you'll have complete freedom in pursuing any potential relationship. You are a grounded, insightful young man with much to offer, your friends likely can do much better "selling" you than you can yourself, they know why they like about you and can more thoroughly and accurately sing your praises (some you may not readily appreciate yourself). Better to be a one-time lifetime jackpot winner than perennial loser.
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A
female
reader, LovelyLemon  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 If a woman is taken, you have to let her go. That's a can or worms you don't want to open up. As for finding someone, try going out where there will be women that you can casually flirt with. Maybe have a friend set you up, or go on a group date.
My biggest concern for you is the depression thing. Going into relationship with depression makes things very difficult. You need to focus on your positive attributes and what you could offer to a potential partner. Work on making yourself happier by being you, making yourself a better person, realizing that you are an independent person. It is also unhealthy to depend on someone else entirely for your happiness.
Much love and Best wishes
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A
male
reader, MajorDisplayerOfInternationalPlayerBehavior +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Hello,
Dealing with loneliness is a common issue for many people. First, realize that you are not alone. Then, think positively and you will meet a girl that is right for you. There are many girls right now who are feeling the same way as you. You just haven't found her yet. You can deal with loneliness by meeting people. Create a pipeline of girls to text and call. Don't just set all you hopes on one right away, until you are sure she is single and available.
You are right, that when you least expect it, a girl will come along. However, you do have to keep trying and meeting new girls to end your loneliness. Think positively, keep trying, and be confident. Loneliness is a temporary emotion.
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