A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am 26 years old and my last and only relationship ended when I was 19 years old. I have hardly dated much since then. I think I am an attractive woman as I get alot of male attention, and asked out on alot of dates. But, it seems like I only attract men that are looking for sex and nothing else. As almost every man that I have went out with tried to sleep with me on the 1st date or started really sexual conversations with me. I have only had 1 partner in my lifetime and was constantly sexually assaulted (groped, and fondled) by a couple of peers when I was younger, and raped a few months back. I am educated, well traveled, and ambitious I really desire a partner who wants me for more than sex, but I can’t find one. So, my question is, how can I attract a “good” man who is looking for a relationship?And,How can I stop attracting so much sexual attention and male predators? Thank you,Alone and Distraught
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bemused  +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Hello my dear.
You are not alone. There are millions of great people like yourself who are looking. Where to look is a good question...the internet is full of suggestions. A lot of times when you are out there living your life and doing something meaningful...romance seems to come along. There is the possibitity of online dating sites. My three best mates all found what has turned out to be good relationships on there. In response to how to put the breaks on the 'wrong' guys I liked the input from Escalaya on avoiding the bar scene and watching how you dress. You sound edcuated and intelligent. Why not try for classy with a hint of sexy. I will put on a business suit but wear a camisole underneath. That look will attract the right guy. As the other posters say...take the bull by the horn and seek counselling for your other issues. Hope this helps hun and good luck.
A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Well done Escalaya,
Well Ms Alone and Distraught, Id take Escalaya's advice. She hit on all the things that came to mind for me when I was reading your post. The only thing I can add is maybe some counseling for the sexual assault and abuse issues. You need to be past that if you really want a relationship to work. I suspect that dealing with those issues will also transfer into you finding a good man. You sound like a wonderful woman, I have no doubt your prince charming will arrive. Try to be ready on the inside because its not your outside that is the issue.
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Escalaya +, writes (1 September 2007):
 Well, a good way of weeding out the creeps, is staying away from the club scene. A lot of sex-crazed men, perverts, and whatnot make those kinds of places their hunting ground.
Another way of attracting good men is the way you dress. A thong in sight, and a cleavage-clad shirt is not going to get you the well educated, intelligent, and caring man you desire. That's going to be the guy that likes your rack in that shirt, that you'll find.
Try dressing modestly, while still accentuating your figure.
Also, please keep in mind that just because they talk sexual, doesn't mean they want you for sex. I find talking sexually, not in the form of "Hey baby girl i'd like to open you up," but rather in the form of, "so tell me about some of your past experiences sexually? What do you prefer, this or that?" sort of ways being a great way to break the ice, and makes a great conversation starter later in the date.
That's how I met my girlfriend of 6 years now, making fun of each other's first time.
Also, I'm sorry that you were sexually assaulted, in such a way. You seem like a very nice, and confident young lady, you don't deserve that kind of treatment.
Remember, You're never alone. Think of it this way; "The sun don't rise if you close your eyes."
Best of luck, take care~
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