A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been invited to a night out in November for my friend's birthday.She recently moved in with her boyfriend in a city that i havent been to that much so i'm not used to the area and its about 40minutes away from where i live.i might have to go alone so do you think i should ask her if i can stay over night at her place ? If they dont have a spare room maybe i could sleep on the couch.i dont know how to ask her without sounding rude though.i know i could get a hotel room but it would cost more money and i worry about travelling home alone late at night.we would be going out for a meal then going to the bars round there.
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I would say
"hey, any chance I can stay at yours, I'd love to come and let my hair down and I'm a bit worried about the journey home as I'm coming alone"
Or
"can you recomend any cheap hotels or know somewhere I could crash for the night"
It's not rude, it's sensible I wouldn't let any of my girlfriends travel back that far on a tube - cab yes, public transport no way!
A
male
reader, Tom Obler +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I believe you should just be straight forward about this. Just say you are looking forward to coming but concerned about getting home late afterwards and could she please help on this occasion. I think "people" in general are aware of the worries of late night taxis, trains etc and they will be able to help you. We have put people up in the past, friends, friend of a friend, married couple so I believe you are OK to ask her.
If you get a no or that they can't help and give a useless excuse then re-evaluate the friendship. But I think they will be fine.
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A
female
reader, Fate100percent +, writes (10 October 2011):
If you're not comfortable asking directly, maybe hint and say you would love to come but are worried about travelling home late alone and you're not sure you can afford a hotel...?
It may have just slipped her mind how you will get home or she may have just assumed you would stay at hers and forgot to confirm it? x
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 October 2011):
 I would ask a friend who invited me to visit them if they had room for me to crash at their place. Besides, someone has to be the designated driver right?
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A
female
reader, PR_Scorpio +, writes (10 October 2011):
It all depends on the level of relationship you have with your friend. If you have a close friendship, there's nothing wrong with being honest with her and telling her exactly what you just wrote. If she's a close friend, she will be more than happy to make accomodations for you that night. If you don't have a close friendship, then I would ask her if she knows of any affordable hotels in the area because you don't think it would be wise to drive back home after a long night of drinking and partying. if she doesn't open her home with that, then you'll know she's not open to the idea of you staying with her that night. If it were me, I would be straight foward and honest and ask.
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