A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:To give a bit of back story, I'm a gay guy. I'm 21 and the person I need to apologize to is 15 (please don't turn this into a moral issue, my intentions are only amicable, and I would never force him into any sort of situation that would be considered even morally gray). We both live with intolerant parents and we are both still in the closet.A few months back we got into a fight(verbal only), I believe it was over the fact that we both obviously liked each other but had done little to nothing about it... this wasn't explicitly said though. What actually transcribed was nothing more than each other being cold to one another online and me ending the conversation with "FUCK YOU" and signing off. We haven't spoken since.I immediately regretted my actions, but I felt he wanted absolutely nothing to do with me anymore... and for a while it really seemed that way. However about a month ago, I began to notice some odd behavior from him. I, being the person I am, had put an AOL notification on his screen name, and whenever I would sign on, I noticed shortly thereafter he would sign on as well, which led me to believe he had put one on mine as well... I began to test this, making myself invisible, going away while he was still online, and I found the results to be indicative that he was basing his online time (on aol anyways) completely around me. A few times I've signed on and off to have him do only the same thing. Does anyone else find this odd or do you believe I'm just being wishful about my thinking?To continue I've been at college since the fight, which is nowhere near our hometown... essentially isolating us even further. I've felt the only way to apologize to him to show I'm sincere is to his face, but I feel we've built this up into something so out of proportion that I can't just ask him to meet me face to face to apologize. I really care about him, and I can't afford to fuck this up... Can anyone please provide some insight to my situation? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, lboy  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 dear reader,
first i would say that if u do end up making friends again to be careful what happens between the two of you as you are 21 and he is only 15, but anyway on to the advice, i think that this may all just be an understanding maybe his not talking to you was just him giving you some time to cool off and him chasing you online is him waiting for the day that you are ready to talk again, i think that seeing as you were the one to end thing badly you should be the one to say sorry, i think that if the two of you still care for each other as much as you did before then he should forgive you easily, just try talking to him, and see what happens if he is still angry at you then you've lost nothing, but if he isn't then you've just rekindled a friendship, just try it. well thats all i can say.
hope this helped
good luck
lboy
xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): I'm sorry to hear about your relationship problems. Romantic and non-romantic relationships can be hard. I have to say one thing before my advise. When I was 15 I dated a 21 year old (I am straight but I don't think that's the point) dating someone that much older at that age (in hindsight) really messed with my development into an adult an having adult relationships. Please always factor in your age differences and what is both for both of you as you mature.
ANYWAY my actual point was I fouf this website recently http://www.imsorry.com/ you can send someone an epology (like an ecard) or a real card or even send them a gift. If you sign up for the site you can also have your apologies rated and people can give you feedback, if you want to make your notes and apologies public.
Maybe since so much of your relationship is already online this could help?
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, niki20 +, writes (29 April 2009):
 well can i just say since its america to be careful b/c your 21 and he is 15 it highly illegal for you to have any sexual interaction w/him at all, so be careful......that being said it seems like he wants to tlk to you but he still thinks that your mad @ him. just im him and tell him your sorry for everything, you dont even need to talk really just sign on and say "hey look im really sorry for (insert here)" and if he responds, hes ready to make up. dont think to much fights suck. goodluck.
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A
female
reader, confusednkentucky +, writes (29 April 2009):
I wont say shit about the age, in this instance so not important, only because of the family things, and not being out, you all probably need an outside support system and others that can relate, and I've done the whole online keeping tabs, him doing it too, I see that he probably feels the same you do, but 1 of ya'll is going to have to step up and say something, I know you'd prefer a face 2 face, but maybe start small, see if he's ok with you saying hey online, and then maybe suggest it would be nice if you all could talk, the most that could happen is he'd say no, but if you don't try you'll never know, Where you all take the relationship is none of my business nor anyone elses, but if you value him and want him to be some part in your life, you need to go for it, regrets are hard to live with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): Hi!
After reading your story I think he probably wants to speak to you again and he's probably as ashamed as you are. I'm no expert but by what you're saying you both want to fix the problem and I think you should do something about it.
If you're not ready to or think meeting face to face is out of question I think you should send him an email specially because you're far from your hometown. In the email you should explain him how you feel and that your terribly sorry and wish to meet him and talk. I think after seeing it he would be glad you want to fix things up. So go for it! :) In the apology try to write what you would want to here from him and explain him everything, don't be afraid of sounding too dramatic, the best apologies come from the heart. Also do this as soon as possible, time has passed don't let it continue.
Hope my advice will help you and the best of luck!
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