A
female
age
30-35,
*ottongin
writes:I am in a relationship with someone, but the thing is, he doesn't like sex. We've had it before, but he says he gets bored and it doesn't interest him/ doesn't feel as good as masturbating. "Why should i do in a vagina, what i can do with my hand?" is what he says. Firstly, he's not gay. Secondly, he does have fetishes, feet being the main one. I'm just curious if this is something that any other males share, or is there something else behind it? How can ANYONE, fetishes or not, NOT LIKE SEX??
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2009): He could be addicted to masterbation as well. Whatever HIS problem is...it doesn't make for a good relationship, it's all about him, his wants and needs and you are there to do for him.You are too young to get stuck in such a hopeless situation, leave him to himself and his hand and go find yourself a real man :)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 November 2009):
If he can't perform sexually with you, and prefers to do it by himself, then maybe you'd be better letting him go. He's not listening to you, and he isn't even trying to talk to you about why he really feels this way. Unless he's really committed to you, this relationship won't go any further. Really think about whether you want to continue with this.
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A
female
reader, cottongin +, writes (6 November 2009):
cottongin is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys, but there's more to it.he always says he wants to do things for me, but i never know how to answer that because I know he doesn't really like the female genitalia. I mean, it's not like penises are any better, but i do agree with him on that the female genitalia is pretty gross. Penises are too though. He thinks humans in general are these gross hairless apes, and it's kind of weird, but i understand him a lot. The reason i'm still with him despite the weird sex thing is because were just such good friends at the core, and i really understand him and don't judge him for his fetishes, and i let him indulge in them. He's commented to me once or twice about making an effort to get better at, and enjoy sex. I mean, he can't even figure out the basic guy on top position. I've really expanded him already sexually, and I think if I express this more often as a problem, he might realise that unless he make an effort for my sake, i might just find somebody else. And it's unfortunate it would need to be mostly about the sex issue, and he has a lot of insecurities about that because many people have left him in the past because they never were able to fully see it as a normal relationship. Well no! it's NOT a normal relationship without sex. I'm sorry, but it is not. and You all are supporting that
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 November 2009):
 It sounds as though for him, sex is all about HIS wants. He obviously cannot find fulfillment in 'ordinary' sexual activity; he needs the fetish or his own hand. I'd guess you've got it as good as it's going to get for him. Why he wouldn't care about your pleasure and your own needs is the real question. Is he simply selfish, does the fetish control him so much that he can't or won't care about your side of the picture?I'd say he's not a good bet for you, unless you're prepared to stifle your own desires and go along with what he wants. There probably is a more sexually compatible man for you out there and as it is such an important part of a relationship, don't you deserve a better match?If you were my girlfriend, I'd be telling you to let this one go, wait for the next guy to come along. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (6 November 2009):
 Hun, your are friends with a guy who finds himself sexually more exciting than you..... he must have some issues about about sex, does he understand sex is not just the act of putting his penis into your vagina...?
Sounds like your relationship is taking a bit of strain over this issue, and I suggest you sit down and talk seriously with him, and if he still wants to have masturbate rather than have sex with you... then move on and this is not the foundation of a healthy relationship.
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A
female
reader, lola80  +, writes (6 November 2009):
Either he is gay ( which i reckon he is and doesnt and cant accept it ) or he is embarrased by his preformance or size , or he is seriously depressed ... either way i think you should find someone who cant keep their hands to themselves , life is to short and your to young to be dealing with his issues and feeling rejected ...
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