A
female
age
30-35,
*ivejust2bJess
writes:Ok I'm upset because my 18 year old boyfriend isn't a virgin and he was my first. Just 4 months ago was when I lost my virginity to him and well....... He was 10 years old when he lost his...... And I'm the 6th girl he had sex with that I know of.... And out of them 6 girls only 3 of them was his girlfriends the rest was "friends with benifits" crap..... And that bugs me too and he kind of talks to like 2 of them and some of his other girls that are friends say stuff like I wish I couldve gotten in your pants and he knows how much it bugs me but he just says it's the past and that their just friends and he loves me and not going to cheat on me but he's even still friends with his ex gf and that bugs me..... I'm the longest he's ever been with anyone and that would be almost 8 months...... The second longest was maybe a month or 3 weeks....... His sexual past bugs me and I tell him how I feel and doesn't work...... It took few months before he got in my pants and when I found out this stuff I felt used...... Can anyone help me.....
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ex girlfriend, his ex, lost my virginity, sexual past Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2010): Everyone has a past and if you don't like his no one says you have to stay and deal with it. If you can't accept that it's part of what made him who he is then you need to just cut it off and find someone else, whose past you can deal with. No one is perfect and has a completely innocent past. You're only going to hurt yourself by dwelling on his, he's with you now, NOT them so you should enjoy that fact and be confident in yourself and your relationship. You're going to cause drama where it's not needed and he's going to end up leaving.OK side note...you say he lost his virginity at 10!! Does no one else seem to think that's WAY too young?? Ten year old's do not even know what sex is usually. I'm just going to throw this out there that maybe he was sexually abused as a child and that's why he was so sexually active at such a young age, and also why he has the view of sex that he does. Not sure but it would seem possible to me, this is not a subject that would be easy to talk about though so don't go off and ask him if he's ever been sexually abused. Get creative and try to find out more info without actually directly asking him.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 If you like him and love him at the present moment, you should wipe his past clean from your slate.
What happened in the past is history and you cannot changed it.
If you are troubled by his past,you can either rationalize it or let him go.
Most men goes through those sowing wild oats days.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (18 February 2010):
 Try to keep this in the past where it belongs. If he loves you now thats what matters and he obviously isn't with you just for the sex, which means he cares.
Everyone has some sort of past life experiences that shape them to be the person that they are today and that person is the one who wants to be with you. Let him know that it bugs you to hear about his past but if you are going to dwell on it then I don't think that the relationship will work. Eight months is too long for a guy who has girls lining up for him to use just one so he is in it because he loves you. You are probably the best romantic realationship he has ever had because of that love between you two.
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A
female
reader, _Katy_Did_ +, writes (18 February 2010):
 If his contact with ex girlfriends is something that you really don't like, you need to talk to him about it more than you have. Stress the issue and make sure he knows it's not at all ok with you. Expect responses like "you're just being jealous" or "controlling". But if it's really making you uncomfortable and he isn't willing to change it, then he's probably not as serious about this relationship as you might feel he is. It's not ok that he's having conversations with girls about "how they wish they could have got in his pants". I'm sure it boosts his ego, but it makes you feel like crap. And those conversations he having with other girls can quickly turn into more. Take it from someone who has been there. I got cheated on and this sounds like a very similar situation to mine. I can understand how you could feel used. From the way I see you, you feel that because you were one of many girls that he just saw it as sex. You feel that it wasn't special to him like it was to you. You don't want to be just another girl and I can imagine that that hurts a lot. I'm not sure that there's much you can do about feeling used, but if it really bothers you, you need to move on. You don't want to fall into a trap or be convinced that your wrong for feeling the way you do. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, Ria1  +, writes (18 February 2010):
U seriously need to snap out of it, who cares what his past is, he was free at the time to do whatever he wanted! The fact you know about it, shows he being honest with you, and being respectful bout it! Also its fine to be friends with your ex's, why let it bother you, life's too short to worry about things like that! You need to trust him more than that, otherwise there's no point! I think you are onto a good thing here, but if his past bugs you, you need to reconsider!
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