A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, first of all thanks for taking time to read my problem !! Okay so, I've been with my boyfriend now for just over 2 years. We're both healthy, young adults. He works from 8-5 Monday to Tuesday and i work 9-5 Monday - Saturday. We practically live together as in we always go to sleep together, he's very social and so a few nights a week and Saturdays he spends with his friends, i don't mind this :)generally we're very happy together and love each other ! But there's just one problem..He has absolutely no sex drive anymore ??!! WE didn't have sex until 3 months until our relationship,though we we're having foreplay and what not ! but once we did we were like animals ! He couldn't keep his hands off me, and if i said no he would get upset. But for the last... Almost 7/8 months he's barely touched me ! :( if i try and get him in the mood he pushes me away, and says he doesn't even want to get in the mood ?? Which i really don't understand ! Why is he so reluctant to even let me get him in the mood for sex ?? Its really hurtful and i feel so lonely! Lately he barely hugs me at bedtime either, just rolls away from me. I've confronted him about these things plenty and he just says, he can't help it or its cause he's too tired... But if i try it at another time than just bedtime he gets annoyed! Usually too though he is alot more happy about me performing oral sex on him, which I do thoroughly enjoy! But he's not even letting me do that now ??And when I do do it for him, he will point blank refuse to do anything for me, he's even refused to simply rub my boobs whilst I played before! I was not impressed! But he won't talk to me anymore, if I bring a problem up he'll just not talk to me and ignore me until I stop talking. I don't know what to do, he has said to me he could never cheat and he does love me and he thinks I'm still attractive ??!! So what's up with him ?? Its driving me insane and I don't know if I can take much more ! so,Can anybody give me some advise on how to get him to want me again,Or what could be causing his lack of libido ??He doesn't have a problem getting an erection, and he has very good stamina, he is also very confident .Thanks for reading ! If you could help that would be great !!
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boobs, erection, foreplay, in the mood, libido, oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe does have a hard job, he's a plumber... But he's always been a plumber since we met :P
His dog is ill ??
Yeah I have dressed up for him. And sometimes it has worked others no !
I do actually shower every night and make myself look the best I can ! And I wear all the. Clothes he loves everynight..... And this isn't fun ! Hah its just more hassle for the day ! And he never tells me I look nice! But if I don't do it, he isn't impressed :P
I never thought he could cheat ! He gets so angry at people who do ! And I do trust Him with all my heart !
A
female
reader, ChristinaMaeMurphy  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Have you tried dressing up? Maybe surprising him in the shower? These things work sometimes with my husband, and his sex drive is almost non-existent. He was the same way as your boyfriend is... at first it was very hands-on, and after we got married it seemed like he hardly wanted anything to do with me.
Has your appearance changed at all since this problem started?
And I hate to say this, but have you ever considered that he may be sleeping with another woman? or having an affair? This is not something I mean to put into your head, it's just a thought.
Is there anything going on in his life that may be causing him stress? Work, family, etc?
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A
female
reader, yowie  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 my husband of 9 years has almost no libido, and this has caused some major issues, as I have a pretty good sex drive. I'm talking maybe once every 6 months for the last four years. Yeah its tough, and it makes you feel as if its you, esp if he still looks at porn, and occasionally mastubates without you.
He had the same excuses too (im tired, dont feel like it etc), but just last week we found out that he has some kidney & liver function issues causing a vitamin d deficiency, that looks to have been ongoing for several years. So maybe your BF needs a check up to rule out anemia or something else medical.
I know its difficult but try not to push the issue too much. If you can talk civilly about it, telling him how you feel (neglected? ugly?) and give him the opportunity to tell you how he feels, it may help.
Good luck :)
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