| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hey, I'm a college student and am in a relationship with a man 7 years older than me. We have been seeing each other for about 6 months, however I feel trapped in our relationship, he is extremely possessive and this is pushing me further and further away from him. I don't know if I love him or not, and to add to that I have recently met someone my age who I get on really well with who I am worried I could easily end up cheating with. Should I try and work things out with my man, or is the age difference too much and do we just want different things in life? Help!
View related questions:
trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2005): I THINK YOU SHOULD TRY A REALATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON YOUR OWN AGE.THE LONGER YOU STAY WITH THE OLDER MAN THE MORE POSSESIVE HE WILL BE AND IF YOU DO DECIDE TOO END IT IT WILL BECOME ALOT HARDER.IF ITS IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND TO CHEAT THAT IS A BIG TELL TALE SIGN YOU SHOULD END IT NOW.GOODLUCK
A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (4 December 2005):
 The age difference may not mean a whole lot, considering both of you are adults. If he is possessive enough to drive you away, and you arent sure if you love him, it could only get worse. On one hand, you could stick around and try to get him to change, or wait for him to change. Which rarely happens, especially if the man is stuck in his ways. Or you could give this new guy a try. You may even be glad you got away while the getting was good. Either way, you have to make the best choice for what feels right to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Taija +, writes (4 December 2005):
 hi there,
to be quite honest college kid i think that you should get out a possesive man is not a good thing. i lived with a man who i almost married but he became extremly possesive. it got to the point where i thought i had no where to go and then it got to the abusive stage. as soon as he found out i was pregnant that was the break to the chain. it made me think do i deserve this or can i find better. i chose to leave the situation and i have never been happier a man who really loves me and isnt possesive. life is far too short to be controlled and not be able to live life to the fullest. instead of cheating on your partner get out of it and find someone who deserves you because from what i can hear if there is no love from either of you there is no hope just a long road of misery and hurt. i hope this helped abit take care its al about you and what you want Good Luck:-D
...............................
A
female
reader, janleid +, writes (4 December 2005):
Dear College (Kid),This man maybe anywhere from 25 to 29 years old so you’re still dating in your generation. You know lyrics from Michael Jackson’s Thriller, right? What about Thunder Cats…? You may be surrounded by people who say you’re young, with your whole life ahead you. Nonsense. You’re a full fledged adult and love is love. If this guy is possessive, that is not love and you should start extracting yourself from the situation immediately. Your freedom and health come first, even if he was the same age as you and trying to hem you in. You want to do this in a way that is safe for you physically and emotionally. Possessiveness can escalate, and even finger pointing or accusations can be scarring. Don’t start anything with the college guy right away but do keep him close. Since you guys click he knows you’re not running away, just cleaning up shop and a good guy appreciates this. Run a google search on possessive men in relationships. Browse through the women’s groups’ pamphlets on campus or even check out a few books. You’ve got to call in the experts on this one. My modest advice is to continue to be everything your current possessive guy hates (an independent woman), and let him ease out of the relationship himself. Document everything he says that rubs you the wrong way and let your support network know about it. Whatever you decide. Don’t feel guilty for wanting to leave. Even if his possession is some warped way of dealing with transition, feelings of neglect from family, or old relationships, etc. it is never your responsibility to cure someonelse; or to even remain in a completely functional relationship that simply no longer works for you. Also, give yourself room to care about the person even when you're no longer involved. Six months is a long time and there are things you learned from him, and still like about him. These gifts are yours to keep.Be safe, be true to yourself.
...............................
|
