A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating around 2 and 1/2 years. A few weeks ago his father passed away very suddenly. Not only has this created the normal emotional stress that comes with losing a loved one, it also has brought all sorts of financial problems since his parents did not plan well, at all. My boyfriend feels like he is the man of the family now and has to fix everything, and I understand that, but it just seems like every day there is a new problem and that we're never going to get out of it. I don't know what to do, we're fighting and we've never really fought before. I don't really have anyone to talk to because there are literally so many things going on that explaining them to people gives me a headache. I want to be supportive of him, but it's hard when I feel like I'm being put through all of this as well. I just was wondering if someone had gone through tough times like this and could give me some advice. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to those who understand what I'm going through and what I was saying. I did not include every thing that has happened because it would take hours. I'm just trying to stay supportive while it seems that everything is falling apart. I think the advice to continue talking to my close friends was very smart. No thank you to the latest commenter who felt like I did not care about my boyfriend. The case is quite the opposite
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 January 2010):
The first thing you need to do is recognize a fundamental difference between men and women dealing with pain. Women like to talk, men like to do. He needs space to try and fix things, because it's his way of coping right now. The only way he can feel better about his father's death is to make himself useful and fix everything. Keep talking to friends, because it will help you. Tell your boyfriend that you understand he needs space to fix things, and that you're there for him when he needs you. Trust him that he knows what he's doing. He believes he does. Meanwhile, you just keep talking about your feelings.
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A
male
reader, NM1218 +, writes (20 January 2010):
I think you both should stop fighting with each other,losing a loved one is no doubt one of the most stressfull and worse times one can experience.I think you guys should seek professional help and discuss the isssues at hand.Your boyfriend should not be placing all the burden on him,if he has brothers or sisters,they can help themselves out.Ofcourse helping other loved ones is good,but he should place everything on him and making life harder nor should he be bringing you all these troubles.
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