A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a crush on someone who hates me. Hate might be a little strong but he is definately not interested. Yet I still can't stop thinking about him. It is making my life unbearable and I keep asking myself how could you be attracted to someone who dislikes you. Is there a psycological resaon for liking someone who hates me? I have read advice on getting over people. They say to stay busy. I work about 60+ hours a week. I picked up a second job hoping that I would be too busy to think about him. I am exhausted but still can't get him out of my mind. I have social anixiety so going out is difficult for me. Meeting new men to be interested in is difficult because I can't seem to stop thinking of this one guy. I am almost thirty years old. I have never felt this strongly about someone before. How do I get over him! Please help.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010): You need to ask yourself, Why your holding on to this particular guy. Figure out why you were attracted to him. Crushes, are a form of infatuation, and can turn into obsession if you allow it to go to that point. My recommendation would be to mourn the loss of your crush. Write a letter telling him how you feel, although you will not give him this letter atleast you will be about to have closure, and your feelings went somewhere even if it was only on paper. Search for the silver lining and fous on what you learned from the situation, make yourself better repared for the next time someone sparks your interest.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe truth is I have not tried flirting with him or anything like that...too shy. So actual rejection really isn't in the picture yet. But I can tell. His body language does not suggest interest. We talk business mostly, he comes to me for advice on how to handle different situations but our conversation never makes it to a more personal level. I have tried to break the ice a little but with no success. Either he is clueless, or not interested. He does not go out of his way to strike up a conversation. He said something weird to me today about something he thought I would like but the way he said it was almost like he was mocking me or something. I asked him what he meant but would not respond. That made me realize he really does not know me but never makes an effort to get to know me either. So I can assume he just isn't interested. Thanks everyone for your advice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2010): Try and get out of town/country atleast for a week/15 days.. go alone.. try to discover a new place!
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A
male
reader, NM1218 +, writes (20 January 2010):
I agree with the previous answer,you should not only occupy yourself with stressful work,trying meeting new people and doing things you actually enjoy.Overtime you will meet new men.I know your feeling,it really is bad to love someone,and yet they do not reciprocate that feeling.Just be optimistic.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 January 2010):
The problem is that you're under so much stress and you seem to be so lonely that you're just not allowing yourself enough time and energy to get over him doing things that interest you. Work helps, but it's just not enough at all. You need to be out and about having fun and meeting other people. Perhaps your esteem is low and you just don't think you'll meet someone else? I think by the sound of it you're trying hard, but I think maybe you need to talk to someone just to get all your feelings out. You will get over him and you will meet someone you love. But you need to talk about your feelings and meet new people, or you won't meet Mr Right.
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