A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my boyfriend for over two years, and despite us having a perfect relationship...there is one thing that bothers me sooo much. His family! Before we met, my boyfriend was seeing a girl for almost four years. All fine...everyone has thir histories. They were broke up about 6 months when we got together. Despite being together a long time, his mum and dad refuse to meet me, have told my boyfriend that i'm not to ring their home, and completely dismiss the fact that i'm his girlfriend.In fact, once when i rang through urgency, his mother answered and told me to F off!! Actually!!.....it's all very upsetting. My boyfriend has tried endlessley to make them see sense and meet me. We are in love, and i would like to see where my boyfriend grew up etc. It's horrible not being welcomed into his family....and the worst part is, there is absoultey no reason for this apart from the fact that they loved his ex.Which in my opinion is absoultely understandable and i accept that....but why be sooo harsh to a girl they have never even met? AFTER TWO YEARS! It's bugging me.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008): I'm facing the similar problem as you too. You have to be strong and face this with your boyfriend.. I'm sure one day they'll come around. After all you're marrying your boyfriend and not his family.
If your boyfriend truly love you, he will know how to protect you. Moreover, you have done nothing wrong and does not deserve such treatment by his family.
Cheer up. :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): man, i feel for you.im going through the same thing, except i've been with him for 4 years...my boyfriend's mum n sisters are like the most stuck up people ever, please dont think youre the only one who goes thru this.worst thing you can do is say to your boyf 'its me or your family'...ask him how serious he is about u, if hes crazy about you, he needs to tell his fam to accept you ..if not then theyre disrespecting his decisions and choices.worst comes to worst, you goes shud jus do ur own fing, move in get married,,,,and let the family be.ive also noticed...that...when youre a 'girlfriend' you get treated like crap...when youre the 'wife' the in laws tenddd tooooo swamp you with affection, (well at least for the first year lol)....my friend...once youve got the 'reigns' ur in control...at the moment, they think they hav a right over him..let them..ur turn will soon come...they need to realise that if they want grandchildren one day...theyre gna have to fix up and look sharpall the bestgodblessxxx
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (11 April 2008):
 That's seriously harsh. I hate to say this but... i thought my family was bad to my brothers new girlfriend, but we're no where near this bad. How cruel of them.
To be honest, do you really want to meet people who treat a perfect stranger with such disgusting manners? I'd rather miss this part of the relationship out if this is the case.
You should love your boyfriend more for still being with you and loving you despite the disapproval of his family, it really can't be easy for him either. So it shows a strength in your relationshp that you're dealing with this issue.
There isn't really much you can do apart from perhaps addressing them yourself face to face and asking why they do dislike you so much when they've never met you?
Parents are odd about these things. this really could make it worse so i don't recomment it hun.
To be honest you haven't got much choice if they refuse to see you. Maybe they'll come around one day. maybe they won't... i wish there was more u cud do.
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A
female
reader, Mistify  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 What a terrible situation to be in.
Relationships are hard enough without parents trying to bud in, and cause chaos.
From your post i gather that your boyfriend still lives with his parents? This makes it difficult, as you can't just go over to his place.
You need to, however, realize that his parents, in all likelihood won't change, until he, and YOU, take a stand for your relationship, and even then, there are NO guarantees. I would say that you organize a time with your boyfriend, to confront his parents. Tell them together, that it is fine if they don't like you, but they need to be mature about it, and at least tell you WHY. Your boyfriend also needs to be very clear about his intentions with you - i.e. wanna marry you etc. I do understand this is difficult, as he is still dependent on them, but any guy, who truly loved a girl, would never in a million years allow his parents to treat her like dirt. (no matter HOW difficult they are)
AND - most importantly, even if you do succeed in getting this bit of information out of them, you must realize, that this is their opinion. Even by you sticking around for 2 years, you have not been able to change their opinion of you. Just don't lose faith in yourself, and your relationship.
I also think you need to have a serious chat with your boyfriend. He needs to know exactly how this is making you feel, and also - that it can't go on like this forever.
Please PM me if you want to chat a bit more.
I really hope your situation works out, as it is such a difficult one. (I know - as i've been there)
Good luck
Love and Light
-M-
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2008): Yes parents can be hard. Give them some more time maybe when they really see how much you love each other they will stop being silly. If he is happy whats there problem sometimes they find it hard to let go. Give them some time they will come round and if they dont. Dont let it come between the love that u and ur bf shame
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