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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend said he received a text message from his ex-girlfriend saying that she is pregnant and its his child. We have been together for 2 years now. He has cheated on me in the past with her but her swears that the last time he was with her was the end of August 2005. If this is the case there is no way that this could be his baby (It would have already been born). However, he does have two kids with her so he does see her from time to time. He vows that he did not sleep with her at all and that this cannot be possible. He said that this is a desparate plea for attention on her part. But he has lied to me in the past. I want to believe him but it is hard because he has lied. How do I find out the truth? What are my options? I want to be with him but if he did cheat more recently and she is pregnant with his kid than I cannot be in this relationship. But if he is telling the truth, and this is just attention seeking from her, me accusing him, or breaking up with him is wrong. What do I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Hi. I am in the position of the"ex-girlfriend". I was 5months pregnant when my ex walked out - and was cheating on me with the girl next door - he then moved in with her!!!
He would come and see me once in a while - we would sleep together. just recently he has been coming around a lot more - not just to see our son (2), but again, we have been sleeping together. It means nothing to me. I will never trust him again, because he is a compulsive liar. I feel bad for his girlfriend, but i have to put up with him in my life, so he may as well serve a purpose at the moment. I have just found out i am pregnant. What do I do? I don't want to be with him. I don't want to split him and his girlfriend up - but am i being fair to her?? I have never met her - but from what my ex tells me - she lets him walk all over her. help..
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2007): I am in a very similar situation right now. Fortunately though they do not have any other children together. He cheated once with the ex when we first got together well over a year ago and since I told him to choose one or the other, or leave he has been right where he is supposed to be. The ex has lied about this before when we first got together and now since we have changed our numbers and she can't reach him in any way she has passed on the information through mutual friends about this. Anyway, I do love him and we have had a good relationship with that exception. I have chosen to stay. If it came out to be a lie later on I feel like I would have lost out on what we have. All I can say is hang in there and see how things are from here. Blood test in the end is all you can do to prove yea or nay for sure. Maybe he will call her bluff. Until then.... only you know how much your heart can take.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006): ok if it trully ended in 05 believe him but still the old back up DNA TEST if he was telly you the truth will will show
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A
female
reader, howtocope +, writes (30 November 2006):
My boyfriend when I met him, told me that his ex girlfriend was pregnant, and that there was a chance that the baby was his. He only has a 19% chance of having children and I thought it was her trying to get him back. The truth is I didnt believe it was his until the baby came and it was. If you truely love him and believe him, then wait until the baby is born. If he loves you and respects you he will have a paternity test no matter what the cost just to put your mind at ease. If this child then does belong to him, you have to decide wether you can be with him or not as the truth would then be he cheated on you again.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Tine  +, writes (29 November 2006):
 hunny let me ask you this, what kind of guy are you with?? If he has lied to you before in the past then obviously you are not going to believe him. How is he trying to convince you that she is telling lies?? If he has done this a few times before in the past then might i ask you why is it that you are with him? He obviously doesnt repsect your love enough to stay faithful to you. It wil be hard enough as it is to gain that turst back that you once had with him so i think that with his ex girfriend still in the equation, everytime you think you are getting somewhere, some thing else will come up that wil knock you 2 steps back again.
What is his ex girlfriend wanting him to do about this pregnancy? Is she relying on him for child support or is she actually just tellin gyou so that you two fall out?
Hunny there is not much that you can do until this baby is born, if your boyfriend is so adamant that this isnt his baby then tell him plain and simple that the minute that child is born, he is to take a paternity test. If it comes back that he is the father of this baby then make it quite clear to him that you no longer wil be a couple - therefore giving him the chance from now until then to come clean if he has done anything wrong. If however he is not the father of this baby then it is your job is not let this ex girlfriend get between you both again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): easy enough to prove when the kid is born. just chill out until then
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female
reader, shakadoodle +, writes (29 November 2006):
well what i say is that, if you made it clear to him the last time he cheated an that if he did it againt it would be over between you and he has true love and doesnt want to loose you then he would be stupid enough to cheat again with the same person, may his ex girl is jus lonely and wants attention from him and noes that if u was to hear they was having a nother kid you would leave him and she could have him back again, what i think you need1 to do is sit down with your boyfriend and ask him to have a D&A test and say to him it isnt that you dont trust him its that you love him and if he hasnt got anything to hide he shouldnt be ashamed to have the tests. if you then find out from the test that she is lieing you will be able to move on with your life and you an him will have a stronger amount of trust because you will know he wudnt lie to you and values you relationship. maybe you could suggest that when he goes to see his kids you be there or they come to your house that way she wont be able to cheat/lie again.
i hope you find out he wasnt cheating and this advice helps x
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006): This is a very tricky one. Who do you believe?? You can't do anything until the baby is born and then a test must be done to identify who the father is. His ex might not agree to this and then what do you do.
He cheated on you once in the past with her, er, i would of kicked him to the kerb then. I know love is blind but come on, what is going on here. He is the father of their kids and therefore they have contact. I'm sorry to be so blunt but i think i wouldn't want to be around this guy. I know it's up to you in the end but this sounds like a TRIANGLE to me and i've been in one of those and it's SH*TE! I WOULD GET OUT NOW.
Sorry but once a cheater always a cheater.
Take care, you are worth better, let them play their silly games by themselves.xx
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A
female
reader, Aunt Charlene +, writes (29 November 2006):
 hello,
i am sorry to hear of your middle position especially because it appears that you are being haunted by the past.in order to find out if the baby IS your boyfriends, it will have to have a blood test to confirm. in the meantime,its a good idea to overlook your current relationship;is your boyfriend treating you right?i mean, what exactly are you building on? he's lied and cheated to you in the past, and its true that relationships are built on trust hence why its so difficult to trust him now.you have no proof that he did actually cheat on you so i would suggest to demand the blood teest, if he has nothing to hide then he will agree, if he disagrees, then its upto you if you decide to stay with him then im afraid, the distrust will keep mounting up.
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