A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:my friendship group has recentally broken down with lots of different people involved in individual fights. during this time i have been dealing with issues with work and my ex so i have spent that much time around it all. however a few weeks ago, while at a party i overheard one of the boys who im not close with talking about me and how he doesnt like me. after this i havent really wanted to go out and being around him. he rarely says anything to me but sometimes makes strange comments although i dont think of them as offensive. however the problem is he spends a lot of time with my very close friends and it seems by avoding him, im also avoding them. i met up with them a few days ago and were talking about future night outs, one of them suggested the boy might cancel it, if i came. i really dont know what to do as nothing has been said to me so i dont know the extent of his dislike of me, etc,but i dont want to lose my real friends through this. it just makes me sooo uncomfortable and it doesnt seem another to confront him over it. pleasee help i want to settle this before the new year.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 December 2013):
 Don't worry about it, given that you will met more people in your life time that YOU don't like and who in turn don't like you, it's NOT a big deal. Don't avoid your friends. If he is there just ignore him.
So he doesn't like you? Screw that. Why should that keep you from your friends? If you just be have civil you friends will know and maybe stop inviting him as much. NOW if you stay away, HE "wins".
Get it?
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 December 2013):
 My advice is to behave as you would if you didn't know he disliked you. While nothing is guaranteed, your position among your friends seems to be better than you think, or at least better than he thinks. This guy has been unwilling or unable to exclude you from the group. No one has hinted or insisted you're not welcome. That is very telling. And even if that were his agenda, why aid him in the cause?Be upbeat, cheerful and confident and assume you're still included in the events you've always been included in. Be courteous with the guy who dislikes you and say nothing bad about him to anyone. Be the good guy others can identify with and make it easy for them to be on your side. This won't last forever, so stay the course.
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A
male
reader, M Proops +, writes (24 December 2013):
I wonder what is agenda is as to why he dislikes you.Your so called close friends should be backing you over him.Well let him cancel his presence on these night outs if that's
what he says he will do.If you're blameless in this then you've nothing to fear.Has he made any advances to you and been rejected? This is the only thing I can think of.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (24 December 2013):
 Its hard to advise on this one because it isnt clear what his agenda is, why he dislikes you, or why he appears to be poisoning your friendship group against you. Sometimes people like this just sneak into the cracks when groups start falling apart like yours obviously has. Has he recently appeared on the scene?
I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable as you seem to be the target of this however I would advise against direct confrontation of this person - in all likelihood he will thrive off that. Just try and hold your group together by being positive with your friends, remind them how much they mean to you etc etc and counteract what he says positively. Good luck x
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (24 December 2013):
You care because??? Does he/they put food in your house? Provide for your family? Look after you when you are sick? Do they do anything helpful for you? If the answers are no to all, then it should not matter if they like you or not. You do not need people like that to live. Care about the people who care for you, and those who can not care for themselves.
Real friends build you up, not bring you down. You can bring yourself down on your own, you don't need people's help to do that. Keep away from anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself, or try to encourage you to do the wrong things. Real frinds want the best for you...always.
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A
female
reader, 123Peterpan +, writes (24 December 2013):
hey,
Don't sweat the small stuff, I've been there. He seems very immature and rude, which is not necessary. I hate to say this because it will take a lot of courage, but, go and speak to him alone and approach him about why he doesn't like you. Ask him if you guys can move past this and just have a good time with everybody. I know it seems hard but KILL HIM WITH KINDNESS. It will make you look like the better person to your friends and to him. Don't sacrifice your happiness for him. Keep your head up high.
Merry Christmas
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