A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:If I'm trying to find my first g/f, or in general first date, etc... What places should I go, library, book store, when I'm at the park on a walk? I'm feeling out of options here, I just don't really want to be alone anymore. If anyone has anything to share please, I'm open to ideas/suggestions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (25 December 2013):
 Do stuff you enjoy, do workshops and classes, join clubs and associations, make friends, your future girlfriend might not be amongst them but her brother, aunt, cousin, friend might be. Build relationships, be open to other people, if you are into anime or science fiction go to conventions, if you like making stuff with your hands join a woodworking or pottery class, do a short story writing course, join a sports club, offer your services to your local amateur theatre group, cooking classes, hiking groups, and just practice, practice, practice initiating and being involved in communicating with people until it becomes second nature.
Good luck.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (24 December 2013):
I would suggest that your problem isn't where to go, it's being too shy. If you're not asking women out, that's where you need to change.
Women won't see you at a library and think that they need to approach you and ask you out, so if that's what you're waiting for you'll be waiting a long time.
If you meet someone and share a "moment", ask them out. Don't be a nice guy, become friends and hope she'll be all over you, it just doesn't work. Ask her sooner than later. Ask while there's still some mystery. Be brave and you'll be rewarded.
I've sort of just "fell into" dates before, but every relationship I've had began with me asking out a girl I barely knew or had just met. I should add that I used to get pretty nervous before I'd ask a girl, but you just have to do it or you'll die lonely.
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A
female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (24 December 2013):
my thing is, how do u stop looking when thats what u want? So I agree! But I'd say what Sageoldguy said. You'll find your gf in places that u enjoy going to. If you enjoy sports games, art shows, camping, skiing...go out and do those thigns and just go about life. Everything happens by chance, the ppl you meet and the love of your life happens when you are ready...or so I hear. I don't really get it myself b/c im in the same boat. I love dancing and clubs and I think ppl go to clubs for the same reasons as me (to dance) but that isn't true. So I've def gotten hurt by guys i met at the clubs. If you want something serious, do fun stuff u enjoy, and u should meet someone who shares that. I don't like internet dating because it's confusing and it turns more into fantasy bull shit more than anything b/c so much of it is in ur head before u meet the person, then u meet the person and ur expectations don't match up and ur disappointed...at least in my experience, but try it! You'll def date a lot through match!
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (24 December 2013):
 My suggestion is; If you want to find a "girlfriend"... then STOP LOOKING for her!!!!
That's right.... get on with your life.... do those things that you want to do, because they interest you and are the kind of activities that YOU LIKE.....
As it happens.... when you do so.... you are going to encounter some gal who is doing them FOR THE SAME REASON... and you and she will have common interest(s) right from the start.... It works... I GUARANTEE IT!!!
Good luck... and Merry Christmas.
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A
female
reader, 123Peterpan  +, writes (24 December 2013):
Where do YOU like to go? Don't try and change yourself for anyone because eventually when you do find a girl it helps to have mutual interests. Friendship is key, don't bore her because there's nothing to talk about. Women like confident guys, but not arrogant men. For me it's all about the eye contact. Draw her in with flirty eyes that ooze sex appeal, compliment her too, but don't be overly keen or desperate. It's a real turn off. Don't rush into anything because then you'll find someone who doesn't make you happy.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (24 December 2013):
You can meet a woman anywhere, at anytime. What is the best way to meet one??? Don't expect to meet one. Treat all women the way you want to be treated yourself. Smile at everyone, and be kind to everyone, not just women. Why?? The woman you meet maybe stand close by, and see how friendly, kind, and respectful you are to someone else, and think "wow, he is really nice." Then she may say "hi" and there you go...that easy. But if you are rude, don't smile, and disrespectful...they see that too, and will stay away from you. Kindness brings people to you, foolishness keeps them away from you.
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