A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at a bar, sort of a friend of a friend, and I spent the night talking to him and having a great time. Afterwards, though, I found out ... I'm five+ years older than him. He's 23; I just turned 29.Is this sketchy? We've been emailing for a while, and we've made plans to get together for what, under any other circumstances I would only imagine was a date, except ... HE'S TWENTY THREE. I've heard my guy friends talk about "cougars" (older women that hit on young guys), and that is definitely not what I'm looking for. He didn't come across as being so young at the bar, and he was fun to talk to. This age thing is messing w/ my head. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2009): Oh C'mon, five years is not a big deal and not in the 20+
I don't think he looks at you like a Older woman in that way.
go out whit him and be happy!
A
female
reader, Scoutabout +, writes (23 January 2009):
I definitely think age is a concern. I believe people should stick within their own general age group. However, there is leeway. For me, personally, the age difference should be no greater than somewhere around five years. I think you can get by, in your case. At least you two are in the same decade! Where I think it gets "dicey" is when you start dating someone approaching ten or more years difference in age. Speaking from experience, my spouse is eight years older than me. We have been married thirty years, but I can tell you that along the way, differences due to age did crop up. While I was still wanting to go out and dance and socialize, he was ready to stay home and watch tv. Now that I'm in my fifties and he's sixty, he is having some problems with bad knees and that is affecting some of the things we once did together (hikes, dancing, etc.). However, these were things that I could live with. Someone else may not have been able to tolerate these things. One thing you might consider is that, although the gap is closing, women still live about ten years longer than men, so in some ways, it makes more sense for a younger man to marry an older woman. Also, people do age at different rates, and if you take care of yourself, you might find that he actually ages faster than you physically! I really don't think you have to much to worry about dating a guy with this age difference. If he were ten, twenty years younger - I'd definitely say NO! Also, as you both mature into your thirties, I think you'll find the gap in maturity closes. It did for my husband and I.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2009): At your age, five years is about the tiniest difference you can get.
My worry is that you are letting your friends determine who you can and can;t date.
As long as they are over the age of consent you can date whoever the damn hell you please.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, kymommy +, writes (12 January 2009):
age really doesnt have anything to do with it. Iv dated guys younger than me and older than me. There is a 4 year age difference between me and my boyfriend (he's the older one) but it works out. Dont worry about what anyone eles says about it just worry about yourself. As long as your happy then thats all that matters.
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A
male
reader, The Gentle Man  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 The age difference is minimal. It all comes down to if he is mature enough. You have said that he is and you seem to like him. So I dont see a problem.
P.s. you are not a cougar, you are not old enough and the age difference is not big enough.
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A
female
reader, Jenni2878 +, writes (12 January 2009):
 dude five years is nothing.my hubby and i are 8 years apart. young guys are the best. their passionate and full of live and can keep up with u sexually unlike old foggies:0 go for it age doesnt matter if ur a jerk ur a jerk .if ur nice r nice. age doesnt matter
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A
male
reader, Sisyphus  +, writes (12 January 2009):
 My ex and I were five years apart, it was never an issue for us, we got together when I was 19 and my ex was 24, we broke up when I was 23 and my ex was 28 (we're still good friends).
Do you honestly have problems with having friends that are five years younger than you? After all, what is a partner but your best friend?
Five years age difference is only a big gap when you're in school, you should give yourself and himself the chance to succeed.
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A
female
reader, sheribaby38 +, writes (12 January 2009):
 go out and have fun girlfriend! what do you have to lose?
your both young and having a good time. you might find hes mature for his age and then again you may find that hes way to young. age is just a number. go have fun and enjoy yourself!
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (12 January 2009):
 A Cougar is over 40 and a Kitten is under 40 and no your not a cougar by a long shot. Anyway, there is nothing wrong with it, if you really like him go for it, just see him for a while to see what happens. Have fun and enjoy. But if your guy friends start giving you a hard time you might want to give them an ear full.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Well you not that much older, just to keep yourself safe don’t try for anything serious just yet, go on the date and have as much fun as you possibly can, get to know him and let him get to know you, you will soon pick up if this guy asked you on a date for a little fantasy because he cant stop thinking about you and truly likes you, age is not such a big issue, I mean guys are always 5 -6 years older than the girl and no one sees that as wrong.
Any way good luck and have fun
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