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Why don't I have ANY close friends?

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Question - (12 January 2009) 3 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I dont get it. I mean Im in my second year of college and have absolutely no one I can regularly hang out with. I had a best friend last year but we had a falling out and she moved away. I know this group of girls, nice girls but whenever I go over to their house, I feel as if they dont want me there. I used to hang out with guys but I found out they were only friends with me in hopes of sleeping with me :( My roomates and I have nothing in common and they talk about me behind my back. I try to make friends in class and while everyone is willing to talk in class, no one wants to hang outside of it. I mean I just dont get it. Im attractive, fun and outgoing but people who I think are my friends always end up betraying me. Has anyone experienced issues with friends or have any advice for me?? Thanks :)

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A female reader, NurseBetty85 United States +, writes (12 January 2009):

NurseBetty85 agony auntHello,

I know how you feel. When I graduated from High School, all my close friends that I've known since childhood went their separate ways. I barely talk to any of then now. Years later , now at the age of 24. I find it to be a bit hard to make true friends when you become grown.

I have plenty of Assiocates, but that's totally different then true friends.

The few true friends I do have, Have a busy live and pretty much doing their own thing. Some have families, Busy jobs or don't have much in common with me.

So, Lately I've been joing groups with people that share my same interest. For example, I love to write poetry, so I joined a poetry club in my Local neighborhood. The people seem to be real cool and friendly so far.

Just get out and explore your surroundings. If you can't make friends in school or with your roommates, thats fine.

Maybe you can find groups or clubs that have your favorite activities.

Its's working out for me so far, I go every two weeks and there are always new faces!

Good luck!

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A male reader, Griffo Australia +, writes (12 January 2009):

Griffo agony auntHey why don't you make friends with the guy in the first post (below) thats a start. Secondly invite one girl over to your house to hang out start out like that eventually she will either bring her friends into your small group or you will be invited into another group, its just maintaining the relationship, be in constant communication and talk about interesting things with one person at a time in the group.

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A male reader, lovelynightmare United States +, writes (12 January 2009):

lovelynightmare agony auntWow, that's a tad similar to my story

In highschool, every guy (and most the girls) would recognize me, say "Hello." but would never care to go any further in friendship. I had a few girls that were my friends, but mostly wanted a b/f, after dating one of them, she betrayed me, turned others against me. I went to other cliques, trying to fit in, but could never get past that stupid "hello" then fading away. After highschool, I'm still trying.

I'd suggest to attend social gatherings outside the college scene, and keep being the grand person you are.

All the best,

lovelynightmare

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