A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really really need help and advice because I'm so confused at this point. I met a guy online and at the time, his profile said he was 30 and now a year later, he's 31. I believed him. But today I was talking to a friend about stalkerish things we need and she mentioned and she used intelius and paid a few dollars for some info like addresses, DOB, etc. So, just for fun, i went to that site and typed in the guy's name that I'm seeing and his age came to 39. Which is obviously not what he told me. I would assume that intelius made an error except that they all his locations correctly. So now I don't know what to think. If his locations are correct, then his age must be as well right? What should I do? Should I confront him about this? Please help Also , I'm 23, so being 30 was pushing it for me. But being close to 40 and the lying is unacceptable. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Hello,
Looks like a red flag to me. Maybe intelius is wrong but maybe he is wrong. Why not do a couple of intelius checks on your friends and I gurantee Intelius gets their age right. He is lying and I would walk away if I were you.
A
male
reader, doublejack +, writes (9 September 2011):
It is VERY likely he's actually 39 given that the other info about him was accurate. It sure appears he deliberately lied about his age. As you said, 30 or 31 is a pretty big gap for a 22/23 year old, and 39 is basically old enough to be your dad. That's his motive, to be marketable to a younger crowd.
So my advice is another "dump him" vote.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Yes he lied. Intelius just reports what's on official, public records .
What 's so surprising about it ? Most people doctor their profiles on line to make themselves more "marketable". He figured out ( it seems correctly) that 30 was making him more appealing than 39 to girls your age .
Confronting him sound superfluous ; you say that both his age and his insincerity are unacceptable to you, and that won't change, I guess, even if he admits he lied.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Do you do a background check on all the guys you're seeing/dating?
I'm concerned that you ran one on him..If you have any doubts about him now, then you're going to be constantly questioning your trust in him from here on out (that is if you two get together).
If a guy is lying about something as silly as his age, then what else could be be lying about?
I would steer clear from this potentially dishonest man.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Have you looked elsewhere? Like Spokeo.com, wink.com. I would try those and see what pops up, if the age turns up with 39 (and it is 100% your guy) I would call him on it.
Honestly, I think he might be 39 and fibbing, because he wants to get to know you or... he wants to wheel you in first. So be careful.
Does he have a FB page? If so isn't his age on it?
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 He may be lying just because 30 will tend to be more appealing. If you confront him he may tell you or just continue lying, then you would have to choose between him and what this program told you. If you are worried and having doubts at thirty I think that it is just best to cut contact now and try to find someone else. That is the good and bad side of internet dating. On one hand it is easy to stop talking to someone who you aren't interested in but it makes for easy lying.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Honey when in doubt leave. Don't stick around, plus ur totally young there are tons of guys off line....don't waste anymore time. Simply leave this dude and meet some locals. Go to ur local universities in ur area but at ur age online should be friends n family only.
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