A
female
age
36-40,
*oungandhopeless
writes:I'm a 20 year old girl - and I'm the only person out of everyone I know that's never been in a relationship.The guy i've liked since the summer finally decides to msg me after months pass of not seeing each other to hang out....and it goes well we hang a few times, I throw a party - we were all over each other the whole night (just kissing) , the next day he msgs me offering to help clean/fix a broken door/ hang out...and then ignores me. A couple days later he says he'd love to see me....then ignores me again WHY DO GUYS DO THAT. I'm really torn up about this because his words and actions don't add up.....makes me feel like i'm worthless....and it's driving me insane to add to the problem i'm failing 4/5 of my classes this semester (usually a B student) and don't know what the hell i'm doing with my life...and i'm stuck in a hole where i'm not meeting anyone right now .....i hate bars and clubs and i'm living at home again (trying to transfer schools) . I change my mind every 3 seconds about what I want and where I want to be.
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 with relationships words count far more than actions.
To answer you question why do guys do that. is because girls do that too, you girls do give alot of unconfirming signals to us. But he sounds confused, and dosent know exactly what he wants himself or is simply just playing the game with you, ie: Throwing in the hook every once in a while to see if you'll still bight his bait.
Next time he calls or throws in the hook don't bight and sit back and watch what happens ;)
A
male
reader, Wontonbomb  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 You are way over analyzing the situation. If you like this guy, chill out!
Guys are just like that, they won't get in touch with you all the time, especially at the start. Not because they are messing you around, or because they are playing mind games. Just because it's early in the relationship and they don't want to be too intense, plus they will still have all their regular day to day things going on (he had a life before you and god knows he probably doesn't want to mess that up).
You say he's a really nice guy when you're with him. What is your problem then? If you keep freaking out like this you'll just push him away. Calm down, enjoy being with him, stop putting so much pressure on him, and mainly yourself!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): If this guy was truely into you, you wouldn't even have to second guess his intentions...that being said don't beat yourself up over a guy who obviously doesn't know what he wants.
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A
female
reader, To A New Life  +, writes (17 December 2009):
His actions don't match his words because he's not that into you. You come accross depressed, insecure, and under the false impression that if you had a good relationship, everything'll be ok. In reality, everything'll be ok if you studied, do well, graduate, and get a good paying job. The rest will follow. Stop thinking about the guy. Don't answer his msg or calls. Focus on "how" to suceed in life by doing well in school.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 And what counts more? Actions or words? I can't remember. Can you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): I can only say this, as a man. We are assholes. We are childish, and rather dumb. He is probably only thinking about sex at this point of his life. And if he can't care less than being with you or being there for you, You should dump the him.
Or try talking with him. Men are as I said childish and we need someone to point the direction and explain the problem. Take care and goodluck
xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): I can relate. I didn't date much in High School and was in an intensive program in college that didn't allow much dating. Since then I have had several long relationships and am probably going to marry the women I'm with now.
It doesn't sound like he really considers you two to be dating or he doesn't want to appear too eager in the relationship. Guys worry about scaring the girl off by appearing too needy. But it could be that he is really not into you. You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you and knows how to show it.
This guy is sounds pretty inexperienced in dating and is making the classic mistakes.
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