A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I've met this guy, and he is my offical first boyfriend. I want to make myself believe that I love him, but whenever I'm with him, my heart just doesn't seem to race. I guess he is just too perfect, I want more drama into my love life. He always tells me he loves me, he would never leave me, he would never cheat on me, but for some reason I don't like it when he says all those stuff. He always calls me 3 times a day, but I need my space sometimes. I think he can get a little annoying. I mean I want my first boyfriend to be my last, but I don't know anymore. He did take my first kiss, but that kiss just didn't seem to spark. I don't know anymore. What should I do?!
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female
reader, kleinie  +, writes (17 December 2009):
You are so young. Live your life, you dont have to find 'the one' right now, go out there have fun and live life to its fullest. When the right guy comes around you will know but for now dont get tied up in something so silly
A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (17 December 2009):
 I think we really only truly fall head over heels in love with someone a few times in our lives - and thats if we are lucky, ..or I suppose perhaps unlucky coz we did not stay with the first one.
Most of the time tho I think it is just infatuations that we feel, and whilst it would be nice to be going weak at the knees, heart racing, warm and fuzzy, and all that stuff even if a partner is only someone destined to pass through our lives, it is quite ok to 'shop' around and 'try before you buy' too. If the 'spark' is not there, well it is just not there.
You're quite young, so probably expect to have a few boyfriends before you actually truly fall in love with one of them and wanna spend your lives together.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (17 December 2009):
 Just remember this when you are dating your next guy who cheats on you, never calls, and knocks your sister up. Drama is easy.
But you are probably right, this guy is not the one. Just don't bitch when "the one" turns out to be a real asshole.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): You have to decide. No one can make you love someone you don't. But I can relate, so I'll tell you what happened to me and you can do with it what you will. I was getting to know a guy who was probably a lot like your boyfriend. The perfect gentlemen. Always there for me, always called when he said he would, and so on. I was attracted to him and really wanted to be with him but I would get really bored with him. One night, I tried to have sex with him and he rejected me. He said I was moving to fast for him. I thought that was a lie and he just didn't want me and so I ran to another guy. He was the guy who is passionate and full of drama. We became obsessed with each other. I felt like I was drowning with him but I didn't care. But something about it was also killing me. I was getting sick and couldn't do my job and could't do anything. I eventually had to break it off cause it became too much. It was a terrible break up because the guy still won't leave me alone. In his mind I am his. And it's not romantic as it sounds. I still cry a lot over the stuff he does. That whole time, the nice guy that rejected me was sitting, waiting for me to come back. I felt like he nursed me back to health after all that. And I grew attached to him and it turned to love. He is still pretty boring and some days I just want fire. I just want to be consumed with love. But I also still have the wounds from the other guy. And even though, the nice guy is boring, he gives me life. Where the other guy was taking it from me. And so sometimes I struggle with that, but I do love my boyfriend. And I learned that sometimes drama isn't what you expect. And boring can be healing.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): He is probably the same age as you. Really young and not sure of what he wants. Both of my brothers fell into love deeply at the age and both have had a series of girlfriends that they loved when they were with them.
A lot is going to change over the next couple of years for both of you and I promise that neither of you are going to be the same person in 10-15 years. He sounds like a nice enough guy but you need to date some more guys to get a feel for what you really want.
Not to say that 2 people can't meet in 9th or 10th grade and end up together but they are the exception not the rule. My parents did, but they had some bad years and had to relearn how to love each other after 15 years.
Good Luck and just because you kissed this boy doesn't mean you have to marry him.
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