A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago now but occasionally we have been still keeping in contact. I've told him 3 times already that we can't keep in contact anymore but this last time I got in touch with him again because I was feeling down because its been a year since my grandmother died and we were together when she did pass away. Now, he's seeing someone new but when I asked him the other day in my email how things were going with them, all he said was "its going okay, I guess". Also, he was telling me that he doesn't want to rush anything with her and that he doesn't know what it is but he feels like his family upbringing caused him to be skeptical and unfortuantely it was that way for you and me too. The reason why we broke up was because he's afraid of commitment and thinks I deserve better. In my opinion, this new relationship isn't sounding promising just by what he has told me, but I could be wrong. Plus, if he was really into this girl, wouldn't he not be contacting me still and do you think he's just really confused about everything?
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male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Wait a minute, you told him not to contact you and then you contacted him. It sounds like you don't know what you want. Do you a want a friendship? Would you jump into bed with him again? You're telling him by contacting him that you want to talk to him. What do you want? Tell him. Remember, any man that is sleeping around on his girlfriend with you, will more than likely sleep around on you. If I were a betting man, I would say he thinks you are better than the woman he is with, and since sex is the most important thing to most men, I would bet that you're better in bed. Decide what you want to do and do it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Mabey he still wants to be friends with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): hi,in order to tell if you are ever going to get a relationship with this man,you need to stop being his 'friend' he knows how you feel and he is taking advantage of that fact.he would sleep with you if it was on offer but that is all u will get from him.you are letting him have his cake and eat it too just by being there for him.
you need to cut ties,stop taking his calls or letting him into your home then if he is yours he will come back.
if this happens you must resist the temptation to allow yourself to get carried away.you must make him work at getting you,of winning you back.only then will you know if he is genuine.
personally,it is rarely a good idea to go backwards as the problems that where there before,dont tend to go away.you need to examine why you broke up in the first place and ask what relevance it has on your life now or if you even want to go back.
he may or may not have real feelings for you you wont know unless you cut him loose.
he may just be clinging onto you as an ego boost for when things are'nt going well with his girlfriend,knowing how you feel is feeding his ego & making him feel wanted instead of sorting out his own troubles with his girlfriend as he should be.
actions speak louder than words hun,sit back and watch what he does.
good luck x
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A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (14 July 2007):
You don't say how long you dated before you broke up with this guy, but
it sounds like you were close and it was only natural for you to call him when you were sad because of your grandmother's death. Maybe he had even met
your grandmother. Sometimes ex-boyfriends can turn into good friends in the long run.
He may have said "its going okay, I guess" to spare your feelings. What should
he say? But, the fact that he said he doesn't want to rush things with her
either makes it sound like whoever he dates, be it her or you, he still not
ready for a commitment.
How much has he contacted you back since you called? Maybe he IS
reconsidering what you had together. If you still have feelings for him, I
would be careful, but if you enjoy talking to one another, there's probably
a lot of good there, but consider very carefully anything else.
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A
female
reader, Shan14 +, writes (13 July 2007):
 I think he still has feeling for you and wants to talk to you to make sure he still does. I don't see anything wrong with talking to him as long as you don't have a boyfriend.
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