A
female
age
36-40,
*andi101uk
writes:hiya, i am 21 and my partner is 18 we have a 3 month old baby, everything was fine intill a few nights ago when he came in frm work i knew sumthing was up , i asked and my partner said no everything was fine but i jusr knew so we stared fighting and he told me that he was talkin 2 another woman in work and he found her hot,i asked if he wanted 2 split and he said no i asked if he was haooy he said he didn't know i asked if he would stay faithful 2 me and he said he didn't know , a few hours past and he was packing his things 2 leave us , then he turns round and says he is happy and that he can say that he would never hurt me , but he did say that he did find her hot, and then put it that she was a really good lookin girl, i have just had a baby and already feel rubbish i am so confused on what 2 do ,will he cheat on me ?? things r not the same i just don't know what 2 do or is it me and the way i am feelin and just being silly ????
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (24 October 2007):
 It is normal to feel rubbish after having a baby and a good partner will support you all the way. He is young to be a Dad but the facts remain - he is a Dad and your partner. I would be deeply hurt if my husband came home saying he fancied someone at work and I wouldn't be asking if he was going to cheat...I would feel so disrespected by his declaration that I would be packing his bag for him. You cannot sit at home chewing your fingers away worrying if he will cheat or not - if he says he doesn't know it means he is uncertain about your whole future together. If he is throwing his family life away for a fling with a girl from work then it means you pair were not mean't to be. Relationships have to be about mutual respect and if he is not showing you that then it is time to rethink your future together. You have to realise that if he is going to cheat then he will do it, not just with this office girl but anyone available to him - you have just got to muster the strength to demand more from life for you and your child.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): He is 18, and not ready to be in a serious relationship, much less be a father. I am sorry but you should have known he was not ready at 18. I would be prepared to be a single mom some day.
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A
male
reader, agonyunclechris +, writes (24 October 2007):
 hey hun x
i think he is confused at the moment
perhaps the girl at work is tempting him
but i think he took a look at what he has an decided to stay
he isnt that dis loyal because he told you
but was he just trying to clear his own conscience
i believe the child will keep him with you
and he will stay loyal
but perhaps you need to speak to A councilor as if you feel insucure you will suspect the smallest things as him being disloyal and that will make him want to leave you
because you dont trust him .
love and light hun
¬chris¬
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): Hi,peoriaman is so right. You are both very young, especially him. He may feel a bit trapped and doesnt quite know what he wants out of life yet. Dont let all of this get your down. You have just had a baby so your hormones are all over the place. This is not an easy time. I used to feel jealous at my guy even going to work when i had just had a baby. They are out there while you are stuck in the house, and it can be a very lonely and sole destroying time. You have this beautiful baby and yet you feel quite down and your confidence is at an all time low. You are not alone. Try and sort out some sort of counselling and get things back on track. Remember, look after yourself and the baby first and let him sort himself out. Look after your health and please dont go into a depression. You can always email me if you need a shoulder to cry on.
take care and be strong for you childs sake.
xx
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 u have a baybe together try to work things out and if u ever feel that he is cheatting u can let him go but not now cz u need him and he didn't do anything wrong maybe he thinks she is hot but all men look at girls always!!! plz take care gd luck!
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A
female
reader, Its_X_  +, writes (24 October 2007):
 It's not you honey. It sounds like something is up. Trust your instincts. If he is cheating on you after having a child then he is a pathetic loser. I would have suggested having a child after getting married to have reassurance that your relationship would hold up. Give him a few days and if this keeps going on you need to leave him. No one should ever cheat on you or refer to another woman as "hot" or "good looking" unless its a celebrity. Good Luck.
Love
X
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