A
female
age
30-35,
*ayemariexx
writes:Hello everyone I need advice on something I've Been messing around with this married man for about 2 years. I haven't spoken to this man in 3 weeks over the labor day weekend I believe he seen me talking to another man an now he is acussing me of cheating on him I've been faithful since day one. He's not answering my text messages I'm not to sure what to do. I have stopped talking to everyone for this married man. I love him.but idk if he loves me the way I love an he's so ready to give up on it I haven't have a man treat me the way he does. What should I do? . Please help.
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affair, married man, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2016):
"I believe he saw me talking to another man and now he is accusing me of cheating on him"
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That was just his excuse to dump you and distance himself. My guess? The jig was up, the wife suspected something going on and thus he dumped you like a used tissue.
OR he has found your replacement, someone else to cheat with and thus dumped you.
I'm sorry, a MARRIED man who is willing to cheat on this family (wife/children) is willing to cheat on the mistress. After all, he definitely LIES to them all. You are no different.
Maybe you should TAKE this time to introspect a little? Like why would you LOWER yourself to be a mistress to someone else husband? Why would you want to BE with a man who can't give you commitment, truth, REAL feelings - all you get are the leftovers.
BE GLAD it's over - yes it still hurts. And it will for a while, but really it's VERY rare there is a future with a married man for a mistress. And consider that 50% of marriages don't work out as well, do you really think a mistress would have a bigger chance?
BLOCK him, delete his number and info, nurse your broken heart and LEARN from this experience. Don't fall for married men and the trite a cheater will fill you head with to get YOU to sleep with him.
Want MORE for yourself, starting with respect.
Chin up
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 Why do you think you are not worthy of any better than the scraps of time and attention this man has given you? You ARE worth more.
Hold your head high and walk away. Don't demean yourself waiting for him.
Find someone who is free to love you the way you love him.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Nayemariexx +, writes (10 September 2016):
Nayemariexx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo it's not what I wanted but I guess I do have to move on it just hurts a lot .thanks for the advice.I really appreciate it
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 You ask this question with a sense of entitlement to what is clearly not yours, that being this poor woman's husband. He treats you well because it is a small price to pay for a bit of fluff on the side and a stroke for his ego. What does it tell you about a man who cheats on his wife yet feels justified to point the finger for thinking he's being cheated on by his mistress? Two years is a long time for someone to decide if you are worth wanting to leave a marriage for. If he stays for financial reasons or they have kids then what hope do you have of a happy, healthy and fulfilling relationship? Instead you will be forever 'on call' for his needs. You are his fantasy escape and he is your fantasy future. My advice would be to assume it is over and keep it that way. 3 weeks in and no contact is a good head start in moving on. Last thing you want is a wife to deal with. Remember hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 September 2016):
 No, he does not love you the way you love him, - otherwise he would have left his wife for you .
In this light, what you should do is thanking your lucky stars that your lover decided for you and forced you to do what you did not have the guts, and the common sense, of doing on your own : breaking up.
Two years sharing a guy with another woman and living a life of lies and deception, was it so fun ! that you wanted it to last other 10 or 20 years more ?...
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (10 September 2016):
He doesn't love you. Why do you think he's still married? It's an affair and he's using you. Maybe he's accusing you of being unfaithful because he knows you've already entered in to one affair with him. Alternatively it might just be a convenient excuse to dump you.
He's a user. You say you love him but he's not yours to love and he just wants to take what he can from you and drop you as and when it suits him. Accept the heartache now and let him go.
I wish you all the very best.
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