A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is not the boyfriend I want him to be. He has very different opinions on everything to me. I know they say opposites attracts but this is extreme. It's mainly about how we see the future [when we'd move in together, what the most important thing about life is, how we treat the other person etc]. But I love him so much and he does make me happy when I'm in his company. I'm sitting here crying because I just don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, T dog  +, writes (15 November 2010):
I recently broke up with my girlfriend, I just didnt seem to connect with her anymore, she had a plan I didn't. I read a quote that summed it up for me and might do for you:
"Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction"
A
female
reader, artistical_bumblebee +, writes (15 November 2010):
 how much do you love him? would you take a bullet?
if you love him this much then what does it matter what your life plans are right now? because are you getting married tomorrow? are you pregnant? live together?
things dont always finish the way they start. people can change minds, feels and opinions on what they want. it happens all the time i never thought id want to get married now i know i do. so it does change.
if you love him so much stop beating yourself up and go with the flow.
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A
female
reader, Natalie:)  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 If he isn't who you want him to be then you should definatelty leave him. He will never be who you want him to be so why not go out looking for that guy!!
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A
female
reader, Probablylucy +, writes (15 November 2010):
 I can tell you that I am in a similar situation. I love my boyfriend, he loves me, but we have NOTHING in common. I'm an optimist, he's a pessimist, he loves football, I hate football, but it's all about compromise.
But it sounds like your problem isn't just about interests, conflicting future plans can cause problems, you need to start thinking, How much do i want to give up, and how much should he give up in a compromising situation? If you feel that you are both giving up too much to be with each other, then maybe you need to find somebody else who shares your dreams and who you are more compatible with
However, if you think that you can gain compromise through finding small areas of common ground, and giving up bits of your plan for bits of his and vice versa, then maybe you could make it work. But if you feel that there is no way you can sacrifice your ideal plan, it may be time to move on?
I really hope everything turns out well, best of luck x
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