A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have known *Guy* for about a year now, i've got on with him well since we first started talking.we've always flirted and joked around like that but over the last month or so hes got more serious about it, telling me he cant stop thinking of me ect.He current has a gf but says the relationship isnt working, hasnt been for ages but if they split im going to feel so guilty. I keep trying to tell him its not going to happen.Now here the problem, i do like him but i know hes not the faithful type (after reading what hes said to me while with a gf) and because of that it cant end well, i know he wont physically cheat but texts are enough to get to me.Even through that i figure that he knows me well, i do like him as a friend and possibly more and i will have to get a bf at some point and id rather it be a guy i know that some random guy my friends decide to hook me up with..or worse!i havent had a guy in about a year and a half after getting hurt kinda bad.. thats life.Sorry for the essay but i really need help on this.. Thanks in advance..
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female
reader, Devilish Angel  +, writes (21 March 2008):
 No prob. I understand 'moments of weakness'. Pretty common but you gotta be strong for yourself and your heart.
Good luck finding a good man who is the faithful type.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much for all your help.
I have taken the advice and am going to stear clear...
The main reason i was considering this is there is so much on girls sholders to have a partner in my area or to at least not be labled as "cold".
Have now decided labels dont matter if im going to regret this or get hurt even half as bad as last time.
Was a moment of weakness and thanks again for all your help, have come to my sences :)
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A
female
reader, red1982 +, writes (20 March 2008):
I know I sound really harsh here, you've already had a relationship where you got hurt enough to stay away from men for a year and a half - why would you set yourself up to be hurt by another man?
He is already trying to cheat on his current grlfriend. Why would he be any different with you?
If his relationship hasn't been working for ages then he should break it up with her and seek someone else once he is single. But I think either his relationship is fine and he wants a bit on the side, or he is one of those people who can't leave a relationship unless he has someone else to go to.
I would stay steer clear of this one and find a man who has more respect for women.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): You've said you got burned badly in the past.
It sure sounds to me like you're setting yourself up to get burned again with this guy.
I don't get it. There are guys out there, lots of them, who won't cheat on their GFs. If you really can't find any faithful guys then you need to take a hard look at how you're picking your guys.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Sometimes our perceptions can be wrong.
We should not judge what happened in the past as people can change.
I can only advise you to open both eyes when you are with him .
All of us have some shortcomings.
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A
female
reader, bebe010405 +, writes (20 March 2008):
ok well just ask him if he would change his ways for you and it sounds like he just might would it sounds like this guy really likes you just ask him i want to know how this goes
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 "i will have to get a bf at some point"
Yeah the clock is ticking, a woman of 17, why just a few more months and all hopes of ever marrying are gone.
Geez, even in Japan they only claim a woman is an old maid at 27.
Did some crazy relative leave a will that said if you wanted to inherit the family fortune you couldn't be without a bf for longer then a year?
Your friends put you on a deadline? Find a BF before the end of the week or we will pick the first guy we see. That makes arranged marriages seem sane. Why do your friends get to decide who you hook up with?
There is even something worse then a random guy selected by your friends? Please tell, I could sell it to a korean movie-director for the next far fetched romantic comedy.
Just can't grasp the logic of why you should take this guy. Is there something in your upbringing/culture that makes it bad for a teenager to be single?
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A
female
reader, Devilish Angel +, writes (20 March 2008):
Save yourself the heartache and look somewhere else. You already know its not gonna end well so why not take the safe and smoother road? Save yourself the trouble.
x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2008): One of the hardest things to resist in life are the things that are bad for us but make us feel good!
If you even have a small worry he could be trouble then stay away and quickly find another distration. It sounds like a womens intuition kicking in and half the time we regret not listening to it. So think about that.
Probably better to be safe than sorry if you had a rough time before. It could be asking for trouble!!
All the best.
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