A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hi hope you can help there is this man i recently started to like hes a friend of my brothers he isnt typically good looking but to me he is i told him i liked him he was shocked said i was way out of his league so i thought i would ask him for a drink he text back saying yes he thinks im nice but there was this girl he likes as well so he wants to be my friend first i was drunk so i told him where to go now he hasnt got in touch i apologised because i can see he was only telling the truth and he didnt have to tell me, my friends say he wants me to do the chasing i know this is a shallow thing and it isnt always about looks but i was hurt because after him and all mine and his friends think im too good looking for him he hasnt been that keen and i know if it was the other way i would be flattered and jump at the chance xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2007): I think you followed your instincts when you were drunk. We all want to be with our equal, so wanting to date someone you believe is lower than yourself indicates that you are not comfortable dating your equal. Either you want a pushover or you feel you do not deserve your equal. You need to look inside yourself and be comfortable with who you are and challenge yourself by dating a man who you should be with and who will challenge you. Being rejcted by someone in a lower league hurts and lowers your self esteem. If you are rejected by a peer, you can write it off as a relationship that didn't work out. By the way I think he was playing games telling you about another girl, and it seemed calculated to deflate your ego. He could have said he had a girlfriend, or was seeing someone. In any event we all regret those drunken phone calls/texts.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2007): i am going through something very similar. i told the guy that i like that i like him and first we were very good friends and then when i told him, he said that things would be awkward now. and sort of got angry at him saying that 'it would only be awkward if he made it awkward. and that if we were friends, that we could put it behind us' and he statred saying things like 'how do you know what im thinking!' and then we found something in common to talk about tand now we arre getting along fine. or so i thought. when i see him in the halls he hardly makes eye contact and hardly talks. so i, like you, are still struggling and i am not sure what to do. but one thing that very much bothers me about this situation is that online he said that if i had asked him out it would have been one thing but i told him i like him and that just makes things awkward. and now i think that its too late to ask him out/ help!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): thanks for your answers i no i was really shallow and im ashamed of it...im gonna stop drinking so much as it turns me nasty anyway thanks for your advice though you sometimes dont see it yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): What a hard life lesson to learn, dear. I have to say for a lot of people...looks mean absolutely nothing but good, quality, gracious behavior means everything. This is a classic case of that. Sweety, you were drunk and I'm afraid you behavior was indeed, in very poor form. It likely left him with a rotten taste in his mouth, so to speak. He may not have been the best looking guy, but he does sound honest, forthright and honorable. He likely expected you to behave the same. You made the error of allowing you ego to over rule your common sense. You thought your attractiveness would get your foot in the door but it backfired. When he turned you down and just wanted to be friends, you showed him a side of yourself that was a tad 'ugly'. Your apology may have not meant much because you ended up being "a girl who hates being turned down and can't handle her alcohol', in his eyes. That's the message he got. Really, if a guy did that to you...how would you feel? Irregardless of attractive we are...we still have to shine, be nice, be vibrant, caring and always treat others with respect and keep ourselves, behaving in a dignified manner. That is crucial. Learn from this and prove to anyone you meet in the future, that you can handle yourself with self-respect and grace. Good luck, hun and just move on from this.
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A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (14 March 2007):
 I think it`s only your ego that is hurt. All his and your friends think "you`re too good looking for him"?? He should be flattered and jump at the chance?? You "told him where to go" when you were drunk. I think the guy`s had a lucky escape. Heather.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (14 March 2007):
 Wow! Are you vain or what? lol Just because you're deemed as good looking to some, other won't always see you that way. There is no such thing as being "too good looking!" Some people think Mel Gibson is attractive, yet with others he just doesn't appeal. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Angelina Jolie is attractive to some men yet unattractive to others, it just depends on the individual.
This guy sounds really nice, kind, caring and considerate yet you get drunk and tell him where to go! Now does THAT make you attractive??? No wonder he passed!
I advise YOU to get some substance!
Eve
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