A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend now for a good sixth months and we've had sex and I've given him oral and hand jobs but he just doesn't cum at all. He's been close but it's never happened once. I feel like maybe I'm not doing the best I could in bed but my boyfriend really reassures me, he says he's just tense etc.. but surely by now we're comfortable with eachother? At least I'm completely comfortable when it comes to anything sexual with and he's got a very high libido.Can anyone give me any advice on the situation to what possibly could be wrong?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2008): Hi, I'm a 21 year old guy. I was a virgin up until 2 months ago. I have the same problem as your boyfriend. It is very frustrating and causes much tension. Just be supportive with him.
My girlfriend tells me to hurry up and moans that i take too long... It is really depressing. With me i'm not sure if its a psychological problem, or whether years of masturbation have left me desensitized {I'm circumcised} Just show him that you love him and hopefully he'll relax more.
A
female
reader, sadeyes  +, writes (15 May 2008):
HeyGlad I was maybe of some help, the gay thing aside, is he prudish about sex? My b/f was 37 years old and had practically no sexual experience, you couldnt even discuss sex without him clamming up. It was suggested to me also that due to my b/f unusually prudish attitude towards sex that another possibility is that he has been sexually abused and almost unable to cumI dont know where you go from here,as it is not exactly a question that anyone would take kindly to,but you need to know where you stand. In every other way other than sex my b/f was very loving,so it came out of the blue. Does your b/f passionately kiss you with tongues or is that a no go as well? Mine didnt like doing that either
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male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Ask him to masturbate in front of you. Tell him you've always wanted to see a guy masturbate because it's such a total turn-on. And swoon when he comes.
The next time you give him a blowjob, tell him you want to see that stuff coming out again, even if it means he has to finish it off himself. In time you'll be able to ask him if you can help!
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): read tips on how to give blowjobs and handjobs on the internet. (also...lightly touch the underside of the penis..that feels good too)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSadeyes you hit the nail on the head there, I've often thought he was gay & so have a lot of people. He once joked about it too...
I have often thought that the reason he isn't coming is because he might subconsciously not be attracted to women but isn't realising it.
I don't know how to approach that situation at all...
I'm worried that I could be wasting my time giving my all in this relationship if he turns out to be gay.. :/
& he was actually a virgin before he was with me..
Thanks for everyone's help by the way :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Maybe he dose not wish to cum for personal reasons. Have you only done oral and hand stuff? never intercourse. I would say if you had intercourse maybe it was a sexual prob but if you have not maybe he just thinks he should only ejactulate during sex. Best think talk to him and ask him if you are pleasing him if he says yes than you have nothing to worry about if he says no ask how it can be better for him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): This sounds very odd. Has he been like this in past relationships? Can he cum when he masturbates alone?
My suggestion is to tell him to tell you exactly what to do....How to rub him, what positions he wants to use, etc. Tell him to teach you, and remember that you can move slowly for him if he wants with lots of foreplay, or just a quickie...
I've been through this too (but only with hand-jobs), and my problem is that I just don't have the arm muscles to give a good hand-job, and make my guy cum...but we've found ways around my lack of arm-muscles...I'm sure you can too! ^_^
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): OK well if u love him just let it happen he will later just wait. im 12 soo i dont know what cum means so this is the best advice i can give you
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): well maybe he;s trying not to, or he coud be on something that could prevent it
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female
reader, sadeyes +, writes (14 May 2008):
I was with my b/f for a year and in that time he never once came either through oral or penetration,when I questioned him about it,he used to say he was just being cautious.Does your b/f have hang ups regarding sex,is he embarrssed at all about it?
Dont want to alarm you but my b/f split with me stating he wasnt in love with me,but I think the problems in the sex department were to blame,and I really have thought that he could be gay.Is this something that has crossed your mind??
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (14 May 2008):
Men can often 'stop' on the brink of coming as a result of psychological issues. Subconciouslly he may feel that by coming he is completely vulnerable.
Try not to pressure him as this may be making things even more difficult for him. Give it time and make sure you are both relaxed.
x
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female
reader, gurlage..saywhut? +, writes (14 May 2008):
I say you need to try and relax make sure you both feel comfortable. you could try role play or sex toys to make him more aroused but dont worry it will come ;D
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