A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend recently took a series of 3 pictures of a girl on the beach that he posted to his blog. When I saw them, it made me really angry. I told him I didn't like the photos and thought it was being creepy and inconsiderate of my feelings. He told me that he didn't see what was wrong with taking the pictures. Am I overreacting or is this reason enough to be angry? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): What a jerk. He did that on purpose so you'd pick a fight with him (naturally, duh) and he'd have the chance to dump you. Why? I don't know. The girl in the photos has nothing to do with why he ended things, I don't think. He merely used that for the sole purpose of causing an argument so he could find the "justification" to bounce. This was all very calculated. I'm sorry. That was very childish and callous of him. Don't ever forgive him for that. He sucks.
A
male
reader, boogie4 +, writes (7 July 2013):
if he's posting these pics to his blog KNOWING you view it daily, it seems he's sending signals. you have every right to be upset. confront him , see if he would take them down. if he won't do it, there's a problem.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 July 2013):
 I find it really odd that he would do this. I mean did he know her? Or did he just find her attractive?
Either way, yeah it's creepy and the fact that he dumped you because you told him it upset you makes me think he was looking for an excuse to dump you.
I hope you drop him from your life 100%.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): You were right to be upset about it, and he was wrong to dismiss your feelings. He was also wrong for posting the girls picture without her permission.
If he doesn't care about your feelings, then what are you going to about it? He's a certified jerk. If you stick with him, you can't complain.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 I'm sorry he verbally abused you. You didn't deserve that. In a weird way it's a good thing because now you know what kind of person he is and better off you are free from him! If he wants you back don't do it. He doesn't deserve to be on the ground you walk on. How dare he treat you like that. Take care and I hope you heal soon. If you ever need to talk feel free to message me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Thank you for your response.
I spoke to him and he ended the relationship by insulting me and verbally abusing me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Yes, you are right in many aspects. He usually does not show any signs of ever being interested in other girls and is incredibly kind and monogamous.
However, he has just told me that he no longer wants to be in a relationship, and did so in a very insulting and abusive way. I guess the end of this has been already determined on his part.
Thank you for your advice.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (6 July 2013):
 Did he take pictures of her in particular? Or did she just happen to be in them? If he took pictures of her precisely, and then posted them online, then that's actually illegal. At least in Norway it is illegal to publish/post pictures of anyone without their consent. Not that anyone bothers to report the cases, or bring it to court, but he has no right to post any pictures. But I guess THAT wasn't your concern, now was it?
No, your concern is that your boyfriend is looking at other women and drooling over others. Yes, he is. You don't like it, and would want some respect? Sorry, it appears your current boyfriend doesn't understand your need to be the only woman in his life, and doesn't see anything wrong with this. Not even in the cases where his drooling is illegal.
No doubt, he's "wrong" in the sense that (for one it's illegal, but you don't care about that part) he isn't acting as if he's in a monogamous relationship. He's still out there scouting for new females to breed with. Or at least he's window shopping. You disapprove of such acts, he thinks they're fine. So you disagree really, more than anything.
What can you do? The best way would be to calmly explain to him why this bothers you. I guess you didn't calmly explain as much as had a go at him and tried to make him do as you wanted by commanding him? Yes? That doesn't fly well with anyone. You get a much better response by explaining how it makes you feel, and ask if you could come to an agreement on this, and perhaps remove the photos.
If he's still not interested in compromising, or coming to an agreement (or, you getting your way through clever manipulation, if you have such skills), then you need to look at this as an unchangeable part of who this man is. And, as you know, you need to either love the man for who he is, or you need to leave him. Forget about changing him, or making him better. He is who he is, respect that, either take it or leave it. And then he will see, for future relationships, that it could be wise to not drool so obviously, if he still feels the need to window shop. But perhaps, and just perhaps, this desire of his to go window shopping is a sign that you're not all he wants and needs, and he's out there looking for an update of a girlfriend. If that is the case, then surely he will have left other clues around for you to pick up. So think about it. Is this the ONLY negative thing he does/you feel he does? Or is this only one of many ways he indirectly tells you you're not the only girl on his mind (if on his mind at all)?
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (6 July 2013):
 It's incredibly inconsiderate of him to not only take pictures of a strange women -without her consent- but then to post the pictures up on the internet. That invades her privacy and her consent completely. He has NO RESPECT for this innocent girl.
He needs to take the pictures down. He did not obtain her permission to take them OR to post them. He's being creepy and it needs to end.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): No, you're not overreacting. I know some people (namely guys) will disagree with me, but here's my perspective:It's one thing to notice an attractive woman, second glance etc. It's a completely different story to not only take pictures of her, but post her to a blog for all his friends to see? That is totally disrespectful to not only you, but to her as well. It's didrespectful to you, because he's basically telling anyone who reads his blog that he's more interested in some other woman over you, his girlfriend. Whether they take it that way or not, is not the point. He shouldn't be making his interest in other women publicly known.It's disrespectful to her, because he took and posted pictures of her without her permission, and now not only he but lots of other people are using her pictures to masturbate to. I'm sure she only went to the beach to have fun, not to become wank material for your creepy boyfriend or his friends. And I'm sorry, but what he did IS creepy, no matter how he tries to justify it. I wonder just how HE would feel if some guy were to take pictures of you wearing next to nothing, and post them online for all their friends to see. Bet he wouldn't be happy seeing you objectified like that. So for him to do it to some other woman is a complete double standard. For all he knows, she's someone's girlfriend or wife. I would end it if I were you. Find someone who appreciates your body over some strangers. His behavior is unacceptable in my opinion. I'm not even a jealous person, but this would be taking it too far for my liking.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Not overreacting. what a dick.
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