A
male
age
36-40,
*rancedRhythmEar
writes:I need some help..8 days ago this woman pushed me away. Saying I wanna be alone I hv no feelings for you. Something I do not buy based on all her feedback our intimacy dates n her body language. I told her I love her. She says move on im not interested I dont like u etc and she says it repeatedly. The more she says it the less im convinced. Shes blocked me n unblocked me twice on chat. She has a low self esteem from past bad reltshps. Ive been persistent but off n on contact to let her think a little. Ive gone as much as a day without talking to her. Today a package I sent failed to get to her she said send it again I said no in person n she refuses. She expressed interest in my love letter a few days ago but today not much reaction. How do I deal with her low self esteem! Im doing something wrong here. Any help appreciated. Thanks.
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (7 July 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all for the answers. Yes ive decided to leave her be. Im in shock our last date was very intense and mutual attraction was there. She said some intense things to me. Its possible im being rejected because she is only familiar with men that treat her badly. Since im different she gets rid of me. She did admit to some barriers and on our last date she said very happily she would try to take them down. I understand dumb men who pursue women who show no interest but she did and a lot. In fact she initiated contact after our last date. Ill also add she didnt come out n tell me on her own she wanted to be left alone. She got cold n I started asking questions. Thats when I found all this out.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 I would just leave her alone.
And no if she really wants you gone she will IGNORE you and that is what she is trying to do. Respect what she says.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 I agree with the other aunts that this woman should be left alone because she sounds like trouble. Whether you carry out what we're telling you or not is entirely up to you (because from what I've picked up it looks like leaving her alone is the last thing you want to do) but you'd better sooner rather than later take the hint (its not actually a hint she's given you, its flat out rejection).Move on with life, focus your energy elsewhere and LEAVE HER ALONE.
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A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (7 July 2013):
Dear OP,
This story sounds weird to read over the internet, since I'm not sure what this woman answered about your letters and I don't know why you think her self-esteem matters here.
From what I understand, you're chasing after someone who clearly rejected you, didn't want anything from you and said so as clear as possible.
She doesn't sound like someone whose self-esteem is too low to be with you, it sounds as though she doesn't desire you. And you pursuing her like that makes you sound like a stalker in training. Let her go! IF you're right about her, she might contact you, fine. But I'm sure she won't. You showed your interest, she said no, several times, now back off because it's getting creepy. To go after a woman like that doesn't show patience or interest or anything positive. It's scary. Her self-esteem is no excuse to not take her words seriously. IF a woman has low self-esteem but she still wants you, she wouldn't cut you off like that. She would ask for time or patience but she would clearly express her affection. Verbally, not through some "signs" or body language. Women are verbal people, they know how to express themselves and they wouldn't chose the words "I don't like you" if that wasn't true.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2013): Shes an attention seeker and likes all attention. She is immature and will cause you to have low self esteem in the long run. Dont let her say all those nasty things to you shes like some little child. Tell her to grow up and move on. You need to have a bit more self esteem and stpp her frpm talking to you like that. Just because she may have self esteem does not justify her talking nastily to you does it. People can have low self esteem but plenty dont come out with nasty comments to others.
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A
female
reader, babyzbird  +, writes (7 July 2013):
 "How do I deal with her low self esteem! I'm doing something wrong here."You don't deal with her low self esteem. She clearly wants you to leave her alone. The best thing would be to just let her go.Yes, you are doing something wrong. Your're harassing this poor girl. If she wanted you then she would have contact you.Correct me if I'm wrong...but isn't it illegal to date in Saudi Arabia?
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (6 July 2013):
 No means No.
Leave her alone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): If a woman goes as far as to block you, and refuses your packages. LEAVE HER ALONE!
Why would you want to persist if she is so uncomfortable?
Why would you want to deal with someone so confused and insecure?
You can't cure her. She doesn't want you to. You are being too persistent, and she doesn't know how to get the point across.
Sir, leave this woman alone. She may have a problem with self-esteem. Your pressuring her is making things worse.
Maybe she gave in under pressure. You sound like a guy who won't take NO for an answer.
"No" does not really mean yes!
Do you really want someone you had to pressure into being with you?
If she doesn't feel worthy, then all you'll be doing is constantly reassuring her and trying to convince her she is.
Don't read body language. It often lies. Especially when you can't translate when her mouth has says NO!
Could it be that she has decided that she just doesn't want you?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): You're being too much of a pushover and clearly she's acting for herself. She wants you to chase after her. So don't. Leave her the hell alone and move on with your life.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): My man ... time to move on. She's clearly either, a) not interested, b) toying with you. Either way, don't waste the energy and heartache.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar +, writes (6 July 2013):
TrancedRhythmEar is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have a pretty good idea about ignoring her n see how that goes. Shes a chaser. Im recalling our dates n subtle things tell me if I backoff n show no interest shell come to me. Ill also add she did respond to my messages today about wat she thinks about my letters n me telling her ill continue to be patient. If she really wanted me gone she would have a response to my letters something tells me shes thinking n needs time.
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