A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I just stumbled on this site looking for answers to my relationship. Even though I think I already know. I just don't want to admit it! I don't know what my question is? I guess I just what opinions? I started dating this guy almost 4yrs ago. We live in a very small town. Everybody thinks he is great. He has been engaged 4 times I am #4. His family all thinks he treated his ex's like queens even some friends have said that to me. AS time has gone on it gets worse with me and him. 8 months into the relationship he wanted me to start staying at his house more he felt he always had to stay at mine. He did cause my daughter was about 14 at the time so I started staying at his house more. I was on the internet ended up finding porn sites. Regular gay ts. ect. I found a lab top he does travel ocossionally for work. On that lots of escorts and ts escorts. I confronted him he said he has an addiction. he said he would leave the lab top home when he is out of town working. He begged me to forgive him and help him. I decided to stay I was already in Love. Porn dvd's kept going after that he owns like 300 up till 3 weeks ago when he threw them out. So we would argue about that. So many times things we had plans to do camping b day parties never made it or got there 3 hrs late due to him playing with porn ect. Then the last yr he got stuck traveling a lot for work. I found out he had another computer I told him I would be done unless he came up with a solution. He said just like before I will bring it home. Every time he came home he forgot it. finally it was under the xmas tree. He took it to best buy had them clean it out so it was like new for me I think I wanted to beleive him it took me over a month before I went on it to recover everything deleted more escort but all male and ts and the porn all ts and male. I confronted him once again I am so sorry I have a problem mabey self help books for sexual addiction. I bought some books gave them to him for valentines day lol. I guess I was irritated. he moved in with me after the first computer I stopped going over as much so he decided to move in with me. I thought weird but just go with the flow. so after the 2nd computer when he is not out of town and home his car doors are always locked. Just recently he forgot to lock them I found another computer with male/ ts escorts. He says he just looks never acts but he has came close to acting on it. He says It is an adiction. before me yes he has been with ts escort/girl escorts/ and tried a guy he says he never liked any of it but cause of his addiction kept going back. He says once agin he is so sorry he has not 3 weeks ago finally picked up and started reading one of the self help books. I don't trust him why should I? He did say In time he will earn my trust again cause he loves me. He also told me he tried pursuing 2 people in the same town we live in in a round about way to have sex but it never happened 1guy/ 1 girl/. I want to try to beleive him I thought him throwing out the movies and picking up the book was a start. Then the other part of our problem is we fight a lot that is our biggest fight though. The rest He likes to binge drink I come home on weekends from work at 430 he's drunk. Or he don't come home till bar time or whenever. The reason I'm here now and upset is cause we got into a fight again thursday night he went to a birthday party. I didnt want to go. He did invite me. The girl he has known since high school but also before me and him they get drunk and o well he's drunk and horny and fucks around with her. They talk all the time and I'm sure he tells her how I was mad because I came home from work 15 min early and catch her pulling out and his responce is your not soppose to be home yet. I have told him to invite her over when I'm here never happens I come home a lot and find him drunk on weekends and she just left. Anyway some reason she don't like me I have heard from many of my friends who have heard her bitch about me. I am 35 he is 40. were not in highschool. One night she drove him home drunk from the bar I had to give her a ride back to the bar I told her how I felt She said she agreed with me she said sometime we should all get together and have a cook out.I thought our talk went good. She walked into the bar and started bitching about me it was pretty bad. I had to people I know that so happened to be in the same place that overheard it. So I don't want to be around her so she can bitch about me. So he went to her birthday party said he would be there an hr then home. He did not come home all night. Then the next day when he woke up drove to his step moms he has done that a lot in the past also. His step mom lives 40 min away. I heard he went there so I thought I'm his fiance Lets go there find out why he did not come home and why he is there now. I thought I deserved an answer and why not come home even the next day? I asked him to come outside to talk, he looked irritated I was even there but he came out he said I was drunk had fun and decided not to come home you chose not to come with so it's your fault I did not come home. I came up here cause I knew you would be mad so I didn't want to hear anything. AS I started telling him that I felt being his fiance he should of came instead of spending the night at this girls house his step mom came out she overheard through the window and started yelling at me telling me it was my fault I need to take resposibilty I didn't go It is my fault. I wasnt screaming but she sure was he just said please leave so I did I thought I do not need to get inot it with her plus I'm a chicken I hate confrontation anyway he didn come home 3 nites then and flew out of town the 4th nite. He stopped her to get some close and said he is sick of the fighting he will move out this weekend I said you cause it buy not comming home when you are home . well He left said when he gets back in town this weekend he will move out. I don't want him to., But I also feel that I cant deal with this anymore so anyway I am a nervous reck he has said this before and made me a wreck then never moved out. I'm a emotional nervous wreck.
View related questions:
drunk, engaged, escort, fiance, his ex, horny, moved in, moved out, porn, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 You need to call off, or at least indefinitely postpone, your wedding if you haven't already. This guy has so many problems, he's nowhere near being ready for commitments like marriage and parenthood. He has serious addictions, mental health issues, and even confusion over his own sexual orientation at age 40. You don't have to abandon him or stop trying to help him. Just know that in his present state he is not relationship material at all and will not bring you happiness.
|
