A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey friends!so here's a long story and i beg your patience and advice.I'm a lil bit puzzled by one guys behaviour. To clarify everything i should tell our "love"story.We've met each other by accident, coz two young Germans (about 25-26) were alone in the unfamiliar city got nothing to do. They were there for their friend's marriage and got some free days to observe the city (lovely days in May). I was asked by the groom to show 'em the city, coz i knew it well and would never be lost there. Well... of course they were lost and i was trying to find 'em talking to one of them (lets call him Max) by phone, we were laughing and even flirting, but we have never seen each other and had no idea about apearance and all these things. just voices and that was lovely.when we saw each other they behaved rather familiar to me, then it seemed that we'll all meet up again during their stay. i wasnt crazy about guys, just new friends you know. though later i told my friend that Max is like a dreamboy for me, but he'll leave soon so i dont feel anything more about himbut the next day Max wrote me a message that his friend's gonna fetch up his parents at the airport and he'd love to spend this day with me.I was sure that he'd write me and agreed. Why not?... just a walkFriends... we had the best 3 days in my life. Romantic and full of compliments and flirting, warmth and all.though of course we had no sex, we agreed that thats too early and all... otherwise it would be exactly the last goodbye sexanyways,He's even met my mum, i've met his relatives and all... all people were in Moscow coz of this marriage and then everybody came back home.Max's been sending me emails for a week I answered, ot wasnt very sweet but I showed him that I was interested in him and I'd love to go on smth between us. Though we'r too young for a long distance relationship.I asked if he changed about me and he was suprised like "why should i change about you?! why are you asking?! i mean we'r both independent persons and we could have been like Jean Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir. Intellectual interest and trust".But then he disappeared. He promised to spend days with me in Italy...He promised that he'd invite me to his new flat in Berlin, but all things were messed up.He never wrote me. I tried to contact him but it made no sense.I dated with another guys but i couldnt forget him. it wasnt so emotionally and romantic as it was with Max.i've met one of Max's friends by chance... i've met a guy and then we realised that we have a friend in common. it was Max. i was totally shocked.that time i lived in the country as Max, but in different cities. i did stage there and thought that i wont tell Max that i live quite next to him.. coz it's over now, he ignored me, didnt he?..but after i dropped in his mate, i decided to contact Max.He seemed to be happy that now i live in the same country and asked if everything's going on well with meI replied and he dissapeared againthen 2 weeks later he wrote a message that he'd love to meet me in his city and looking forward to spend time with me there (he hasnt invited to stay at his place though). i said that i'll do this after my trip to France you know after that i asked him (i asked him for a skype chat but he ignored it, so only fb messages were able to us) if he was free like on wednesday coz i'm gonna stay in the city of him at my friends place and i'm happy that we'll meet uphe ignoredi've spent lovely days iwth my friends but not with him.. i wrote him: well in one day i leave, mb you forgot that i'm gonna stay in the same city, but live your life easy i meant nothing but friendship.he called me 2 hours later and spoke to me with a strict voice coz he was like in the library. we supposed to meet up in the evening, he's gonna call me. but he called me too late and said that he's on his way home. though his voice was flirting and lovely that time. he asked if we coould meet the next day.. i said well i leave the next day man!!!! he said ohohohohoh lets make it early morning i'll pick you up at your place for sureso he did. that time was lovely though we hadnt kissed or smth, just smiled in a very shy manner and told each other about our lives and all. when he heard about his friend i'd met by chance he said WHATS THE FUCK!!!! also he asked me if i date with a man who had a crush on me on the marriage in Mayand so on.. he seemed to be jealous. and his eyes were looking as warm at me as it was in May. though 5-6 passed. oh.. the day was romantic and sadi asked if he was afraid and had no idea if i want to go out with him and all... yep he was afraid, coz we'r young and we have so much to do and so on...he was afraid to fall in love?! coz long distance is an emotional problem?! or whatwhen we supposed to tell goodbyes (though we agreed never say bye to each other but "see you") we never knew what to say or to do.. he just hugged me tough and said that he must dash.bye bye bye love of my lifethen i came back to my town. and i wrote a msg that i'd love to buy a book he'd recommended me but i didnt remember the title. he ignored.one month later he replied asking for forgiveness. and said that he miss me so and his job's hard and he'd love to use my company to cheer him up. we had a long conversation of 2-3 weeks, all msg were like big letters.and now he dissapeared again.i congratulated him on his birthday (i know that not that many ppl know his date of birth) - no reply again.it seems that he writes when he wantshe just treats mei know that i live far away from himbut we agreed to stay in touch anywaywe have so much in common.but... smth is wrongi cant forget him he's the only person who understands and share my interests and hobbies (i'm into literature and arts and lots of ppl around me dont understand this passion). but he always asked about my ideas etci need to live my own life not waiting for his reply again and again.. but i cant give up waiting. and i cant start up any really serious relationship coz i cant find this understanding..Friends, i need you help. I really need to dot the i's to myself. Hope i can do it with youThanx in advance! I'll be waiting for your replySincerely,...
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crush, flirt, jealous, long distance, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanx for your replies!I know that he's had a LDR before, I dont know actually the reason why they had broken up though they'd wanted to move in together and so on. Also he knows that I'm rather attractive and have lots of male friends.. At least snaps on fb show him that i dont have a lack of attention.Maybe he doesn't want to give mixed up in LDR again though he has some kind of attraction about me, bc it does hurt. And he's not ready to share his life with anybody and even more with a girl who may switch over to another guy around her. Bc there's no possibility to control her from far away...Yep you're right I wanted to make him a kind of the love of my life, his type was the one I always dreamt of. But I do my best to get that true love isn't made of excuses.
A
male
reader, pschitzo n not  +, writes (26 January 2013):
hunt him down to the exact time and place and iether do the whole romantic thing, or interupt and lay it all out for him give him the altimatum or the patient thaght filled and expecting him without him knowing and stand infront of him and choose one of outcome and start investigating id find him if i were you i gave up my dreamgirl n have a whole different life than what i dreamed or fantasized but she couldve been mine all mine and damn i remember when i was your age my heart was so screwed with n so on ps your story was like a movie i have not seen or heard of i wil pray to the stars the brightest one peace
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A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (26 January 2013):
I know you would like him to be the love of your life. But he love of your life should be someone who makes you happy not someone who makes you confused. You had a bit of a holiday fling. It's easy for people to do because they know that they can move on.
If he was serious about you he would NOT be messing you about. Forget him, unless you want him to keep hurting and confusing you. If a man wants you, you'll know for sure.
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