A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am in quite a situation that's driving me nuts! I am a freshman in college and I've liked this guy since August when I started. He is a senior and we work together at the college as well. I found out today that he is looking for a girlfriend from another one of our co-workers. She asked if I would ever date him, not knowing that I've liked him for quite awhile! I thought he knew that he liked me but maybe I am wrong. The weird part is last night I had a dream about him. He was talking to me and saying that he had to move on and stop chasing a "pretty woman" for the rest of his life. Since I obviously didn't know who he was talking about the dream, I just stared at him. He then said I don't know if you feel the same way as me...but wow. After that, we started hanging out together a lot and I was pretty sure we would start dating seriously. Man was I depressed when I woke up and realized it was a dream! I'm a big person on interpreting dreams so I felt it was important to this. We see each other frequently at work but he is never overly friendly towards me. However, he is very friendly with all the other girls. I find this to be strange. I think he's scared of me. Why? I don't know though. I'm also pretty sure he likes me by the way he acted when we first met. I've been wracking my brain to figure out why he won't ask me out. I know of course that I can ask him out, but because of the fact that we work together and I'm a pretty quiet person, I'm not that comfortable with this. I've written a list of reasons below why he may not go out with me. Most of them have a counter response which is why I'm having such a hard time figuring it out!1) I'm a freshman. *He went out with other freshman.2) I'm blonde. He mostly dates brunettes. *I prefer dark hair as well but if an attractive male blond was attracted to me, I wouldn't turn him down. Therefore, I think this is a flimsy reason.3) Doesn't want to date his co-workers. *Dated one over the summer.Now that I've practically written a book on this situation, hopefully you guys can help me out here! Thanks in advance!
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at work, co-worker, depressed, move on Reply to this Question
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female
reader, R1  +, writes (3 February 2013):
 Just ask him out or we will never know lol!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust wanted to provide an update to all of you. The co-worker I hoped to have help me in this situation isn't in the picture right now. She's a nice person, but not that dependable. But anyway, I got to see this guy today at the office. It was just him and I so we were able to have a nice conversation. We seem really great together. He did ask what I was doing the rest of the day but that's as far as that went. Is that a good sign at all? I also figured out that I have only really known him for about 3 months. Is this really a short amount of time for a guy?
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the responses. I forgot to add something that is very important to this question. When I first met him in August, I could tell he was attracted to me. So attraction isn't the problem. Something is holding him back in asking me out. I just have to figure out what it is.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (27 January 2013):
 If you don't want to embarrass yourself, then don't push it.
Here are things to consider objectively and realistically. I don't want you to over-think this, just look at it for what it is.
1. We see each other frequently at work but he is never overly friendly towards me. However, he is very friendly with all the other girls.
He is not scared of you as you suggest, but maybe the most likely option is that he is simply not interested in you in THAT way and that's why he is not going out of his way to speak to you, flirt with you or ask you out.
2. I'm a freshman. *He went out with other freshman.
Exactly, he has dated freshman girls before, so you cannot even consider this. The same thing applies to dating co-workers. I think you're so busy contemplating "deeper" meanings that you're not willing to face the most basic one of all - that he is just not into you.
I used to analyze and over-think things when I was your age too. I think it's the teenage mentality. I used to be so puzzled over whys and hows when it came to people that looking at it now seem very basic and straight forward. The truth is life and people are really not that complicated. You may ask yourself why and how all day, but people do have the right to not find you attractive or like you romantically as a person.It happens. It happens all the time. The sooner you accept it and waste energy on this boy, the better.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (26 January 2013):
Inviting him out as a group sounds ideal. See how it goes!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm thinking of getting the coworker who asked me about going out with him
to help me out. Not that she will ask him out for me but maybe she can just invite him and I out as a group with her and her boyfriend. Would that be too obvious to him? Just don't want to embarrass myself since I see him
almost everyday.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (26 January 2013):
 Yea prob not his type or hed be more filrtatious n give u more signs. U should ask him out n find out!
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A
female
reader, Dayzy  +, writes (26 January 2013):
So that you don't drive yourself crazy, ask him out. You'll soon find out one way or another. Then if he isn't interested you'll stop fantasizing and move on to someone who is. It's 2013. That means you are allowed to ask HIM out.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (26 January 2013):
You just might not be his type... Or he could see you as a friend and nothing more... Maybe he doesn't know how you feel and if you asked him out it would be different... Or he's just not that into you.
Hard to tell really, if he's not actually turned you down then there is still a chance! Depends whether you are happy to risk rejection and ask him out. You can't always wait for the man...
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