A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm happily married to my husband of 4 years (together for 8) but we barely have sex. Everything else in our marriage is great except the sex, or lack there of. In the past 2 years I keep finding myself attracted to other men who show me clear signs of attraction, nothing has ever come of them because I usually find a way out of the tempting situation until recently. I've found myself extremely attracted to one of my husbands friends. We see him occasionally and this guy has given very clear signals that he is attracted to me. I don't know what to do. He is a friend so that won't change and he does know that I too find him attractive. I hadn't seen him for about 9 months then all of a sudden we keep going to social events and he is there. I don't know what to do, its driving me crazy and part of me just wants to get it out in the open (just between him and I) so that I know and he knows and hopefully we can figure out a way to stay friends safely. I can't stop thinking about him or looking at his pictures. I feel confused and alone. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): i think you are fooling yourself if you believe nothing will come from both of you knowng each others feeling. you are ready to act on it and i think you know this s very dangerous.you are fantasizing about the unknown but the reality is destruction, hurt and betrayal. you are only married for 4 yrs so this marriage is barely off the ground yet you want to get it on with yor hb's friend. this has disaster written all over it and the sooner yo realise it the better. you will be heading into the stats books as a divorcee, is this what yu want.re- eneregise your marraige, try the suggestions and recommendations Sexy Mik advised. i wish you well but please stop indulging too much with this man. it is a recipe for disaster. and you know it.
A
female
reader, cin +, writes (15 May 2009):
How can you say your happily married if the sex isn't in a relationship to me sex is very important in a relationship, if you don'thae geat sex life your going to cheat either him or you. are you not atracted to yur husband. do something totally of the wall wear something sexy and whisper in yourhusbands ear tell him you want to fuck. and enjoy it don't cheat cheaters never prosper an your concsious will kill you. try fantasizing about your husband.
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A
male
reader, SexyMik  +, writes (15 May 2009):
You are happily married ?? Marriage is a partnership and should be equal, that is equal for you and equal for him.
The sexual part of marriage is extremely important and in some countries you can easily get a divorse through non consumation. My advice is to talk seriously about the situation to him and say that you have needs and this is begining to cause stress that is driving a wedge between you. The possible answer could be easily rectified either through practical ways or medical intervention.
Your hubby can be suffering from stress through work or financial presures, or worry causing impotance. The problem could be that he is suffering from some virus or illness. The problem might be tiredness or overwork. The problem could be caused through the prostate, through diabetes, or through medication, as many medications have this side effect. It could be that there is a deficientcy of Testosterone. There are many remedies available, but first check with your doctor, a simple test would give the answer. There is Viagra, Kamagra and other treatments available.
The important thing is communication, if the problem is lack of interest in each other then Marriage relate is the answer.
As for fancying your husbands best mate - this sounds to me very dodgy as he would not be his best mate much longer if your hubby finds out, and besides these relationships rarely work unless the mate is loaded and can wish you away, there again what about the family ? the kids ? would you have enough to set up home elsewhere or buy out your 50%.
If you go and leave your hubby think carefully before doing so as there are practical, financial and legal implications that are far reaching, but could be well worth the expense.
If the worse comes to the worse, do a compromise with your husband, it could be that he simply does not want sex, but he cannot deny you sex, so if you both want to remain together then would he allow you to have one day or a couple of days having sex with another man but coming back to him. If he on the other hand just does no longer find sex interesting with you but is not impotant maybe you can both find surrogate partners but still remain together.
I sincerely hope that this is of help to you, and wish you both all the best in the future.
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