A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. In this time, he has consistantly had a roving eye. He denies this. I have been physically moved out of the way, for him to get a better view of another female. I can see him getting twitchy when he sees someone he fancies. On one occasion he went out with workmates, he came home telling me he could have pulled, and if he wasn't with me he would have f****d her. She had lovely skin, and he had been flirting with her, she tried to kiss him, when she was sitting on his lap. He looks at porn regularly, knowing it upsets me. My breasts could be bigger in his opinion too. He says he's just a red blooded male. Can't get an erection a lot of the time, when he's with me. Is it me or him, who has a problem?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2008): The easiest way to solve relationship problems is not to ease out of it at the first chance. First, check out if you are really in good health yourself and capable of a healthy sexual relationship. Also if you are in good health, meaning not overly overweight and moderately energetic.Check if you are hygienic and invest time in yourself, in your own beauty as well as in your profession.If it is a yes to all, then there is a problem with your guy.But wait, now it is time to invest your time on him and the relationship.If he is with you despite all his vices, chances are he loves you and feels secure with you but possibly not sexually satisfied with you. It can mean that he is addicted to porn,to sex or has bad company. Could also mean that he is not sexually attracted to you although he loves you. And like somebody mentioned, it could be a medical condition like blood pressure or diabetes.In all cases, you need to help him out of the situation, because even people who are as bad as your husband, are maybe mentally sick or need therapy.If he does not accompany you to a consultant, see one yourself and ask for suggestions.Dont keep unrealistic targets of reforming him overnight. Treat him as you would your small child, one lesson at a time.If everything fails,remember that the therapy was not good enough, that he is not responding to treatment. Start measures to protect your own life, initiate distance from him hinting divorce and check out for a few months if this helps in treating him.If it still doesnt help, too bad, leave it to god...dont hate him or exchange bad words...the relationship was just not meant to be...maybe someday he will realise...
A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Most certainly him who has the problem, is not you. if you don't mind me saying, i think this guy sounds like a bit of a jerk, and he has got no respect for you.
As for him being a red blooded male, well this he is certainly not. What sort of guy goes out with the lads, then comes home and tells his girl friend he could have pulled, and even sh****d someone. The sort of person i think you could do without i think.
Ditch this guy and find someone who gives you the love and respect that you so rightly deserve.
Good luck x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): ABSOLUTLY NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LOVE
He is putting you down he may be a red blooded male but hunny your a red blooded female and a ton of guys would probably fall all over themselves to be with you and appreciate you alot more in the longrun, How do you feel about yourself right now? Do you worry about the way you look because of this, its all very safe for him to make sure you are so down on yourself no confidence so you will always be there...
Hun he may very well have erection problems nothing to do with you at all, you sound so very unhappy why be with someone that makes you feel this way, I was in a simular situation awhile ago and I weighed 7 and a half stone by the time my husband had finished, He was insecure and this was his way of making himself feel better he also had erection problems love, when I finally got well enough to finish the relationship I had to find my confidence all over again it took awhile but I did it and I had many opportunitys with men but I had to find myself first to realise that it wasnt me, dont let this happen hun 3yrs is along time it was 7 for me and how I wished id had the strength to leave before I did.
Can you see this situation changing and you becoming happy would he go to a counsellor for the sexual side, will he listen to your concerns seriously and want this relationship to work because he loves you? That is the question you have to ask yourself and him, porn isnt a big deal if you are in a happy content relationship with trust, but because he is saying stuff like the girl and making suggestions about your breast size it becomes an issue for you as your insecure and no one person can blame you for that, I would think very hard love on what you want for you as this is very important for your future happiness I hope this helped a little sweetheart TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): LEAVE HIM. END OF
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A
male
reader, Wildlife dude  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Your man appears to have an addiction problem. This is not something you're going to solve by improving your self or enlarging your breasts. It's a much bigger problem than that. I suspect he cannot get an erection because he spends too much time "whacking it" and it is exhausted, for lack of a better word. I do not see your relationship moving forward until he gets help. Unfortunately, I suspect he'll deny there is a problem and blame you for his roving eye. If that happens, you'd be wise to bail on this guy and not invest anymore time or love on him. I think it's being wasted here, as he does not know what love really is, otherwise he would never treat you with such a lack of respect by telling you all this stuff. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): My love that PATHETIC SPECIMAN of a man would NOT last 3 seconds with me let alone 3 years. Please for your sake get out of this sham of a relationship. He eyes up other women so much that he physically has to move you just to get a better view HOW DARE HE!!. Get rid of this JERK and fast, you want someone who is proud to be seen with you not compare you to the large breasted bimbos he lusts after. Next time this loser underminds you or says " I could have shagged xy and z". Show him the door and say "Go on then but don't think you are coming back BUDDY".And next time he goes out on the razzle with his so called cronies PACK ALL OF HIS BELONGINGS and shove them out of the door. Go and get a guy who puts YOU on a pedastal and not other women. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 August 2007):
 He says hes red blooded? in my opinion hes a waste of space.I had one that stared over my head once, i said oh sorry am in your way, he said oooh i couldnt help it she was gorgeous. I was like what the??????Needless to say that didnt last long. He was only 22 though. How olds this guy thats calling himself your boyfriend?Hes extremely heartless and rude to boot. Its fair play to look at others but to gawp is down right stupidity.Is he a drinker?Its certainly not you! He sounds young.Caz xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): He's got the problem, its something that I've come across. Men who can't perform in the bedroom make up for it by behaving this way. Because he can't be a man for you, he is trying to make out that it's your fault. He's making out that you have the problem ie small breasts, not sexy enough, makes you feel as though you are unattractive. Chances are even if he was with a porn star he wouldn't be able to get it up. So in order to deal with his sexual insecurity he's making out he's some sort of rampant male...quite sad really. You've got to get him to the docs, there are many reasons why a guy can't get erections, ie diabetes, high blood pressure etc.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): I think you are with a very selfish man who takes you for granted. Consider this contrast, lucky me, but I had to wait until now before I found a good relationship so am not so very smug. I am sure my partner finds other women attractive but there is no way he would ogle them in front of me. I did have an issue about porn, thinking he looked at loads, but he didn't. Just SOME on the odd occasion in the past. He did not say he never would again, he just made it clear that it is not of any significance to him. He buys me flowers every week, brings me breakfast in bed every day. He likes being with me most of all, but is happy for me to go out with friends in which case he babysits my boy who he loves. He likes to go fishing or for a ride on his motorbike. He likes DIY. He would hate to go to a nightclub. He tells me that I am beautiful, he loves my fat face cheeks and loonatic humour. He loves my wrinkles and tells me every day that I am sexy. He cuddles me often. We do loads of eciting things together. He can be grumpy and a pain as all men - I love everything about him.That is the sort of thing we all deserve, luckily I have known him since we were children, or I may think he was so perfect that something is wrong! Contrast that against your crass, unkind, insulting boyfriend. Who are you kidding, get rid of him and find a fab one. Don't waste these years, before you know it you will wish you could have a family but be creeping 30 and over. It really is simple, be ruthlessly discriminating when deciding who is good enough for that special person who is you.
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