| A
age
30-35,
*
writes: Ok, well I'm quite confused about this situation at the moment because...My friend, he's a guy is extremely flirty with me! At first I thought he must like me, but one time we were answering loads of personal questions and stuff, and he admitted to me that he was "in love" with our mutual friend. At this point I thought "Ok, he doesnt like me- fair enough". But he's been round my house quite a few times, and we spend the whole time cuddled to each other on my bed and stuff. He also kisses me- quite a lot, pretty much everywhere, lips, cheek, neck, tummy etc. He still at this point was saying how much he loves our friend. A few weeks back, he slept with my friend when she was drunk, and he was sober-ish. They havent been talking much since then. I have had to have quite a few talks with the both of them on seperate occasions, as I'm very close friends with both of them. My friend was in a bad way saying how much of a jerk he is and stuff, and I managed to get them both to talk to each other in the end, though I dont think it'll be the same again. Now my friend is being really flirty to me, more than before, he says suggestive things to me online and in texts. He still kisses me, cuddles me, tickles me and tells me I'm beautiful and stuff. He also seems flirty with other girls he knows, but not as flirty with them as he is with me. I told my friend about everything and she thinks that he likes me but doesnt want to admit it to me. My friend who my friend slept with said that she really isnt sure as he is flirty with other girls. I was just wondering what you guys think, I mean its hard to explain how he acts with me, but he does treat me like a girlfriend and he does say he loves me (as a friend- I think), says he cares about me and does look out for me and stuff. But he did say to me how hot some of my other friends are as well, but he still treats me like a girlfriend. I'm just very confused, I'm not sure whether he likes me, or whether I'm just someone he enjoys flirting with. What do you guys think? x
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys- he's decided to out-jerk himself and lets just say me and my other friend have been blocked from his life, and he got a new girlfriend after he said (after this post I left before) to my friend he'd love her forever. Hate feeling hated for no reason, but thats whats happened :(
A
male
reader, Wheeler  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 You said that, "He also seems flirty with other girls he knows, but not as flirty with them as he is with me." But you don't really know that, do you?brbrHow do you know what goes on when he is hanging out with other girls alone? You have to be honest with yourself that it is likely you are not that much more special to him than other girls. If you were, he would not behave that way toward other girls out of regard for your feelings if nothing else.brbrAlso, I would suggest that you are making it very easy for him to do whatever he wants anyway. If he knows that you are aware of how he flirts with other girls, and yet you let him touch you in such an intimate way, then you are not commanding much respect from him. At the least, you deserve respect. And none of that behavior sounds like respect to me.brbrSounds like he enjoys your attention, he enjoys touching you, and he enjoys your company. Fair enough. But there are boundaries that exist in all levels of relationships. When you are just friends, you do not routinely touch each other in sexual or intimate ways.brbrHow would you describe what you feel when he is touching you and saying you are beautiful, yet you are thinking about his behavior with other girls, and wondering how much of this he is saying to other girls as well? That is a good indication of what is or isn't right about this situation.
...............................
A
female
reader, Missy00 +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Maybe you should consider asking your guy friend what he thinks of you. You may be surprised of the outcome
...............................
A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (24 May 2011):
I'd be very careful here. He sounds like a player. If he loved your friend so much, why did he sleep with her while she was drunk and he was soberish now appears to have lost all interest? Answer: he was only after sex. Have you asked if he was the same with her before this, e.g kissing, tickling and telling her she was beautiful? Why does she think he's a jerk?"He also seems flirty with other girls he knows, but not as flirty with them as he is with me. I told my friend about everything and she thinks that he likes me but doesnt want to admit it to me. My friend who my friend slept with said that she really isnt sure as he is flirty with other girls."Are you sure you're not seeing and hearing what you want to? This isn't very conclusive really is it? Players can make themselves seem good, nice and honest people. They'll tell you what you enjoy hearing. So judge him on his actions with your friend more than his words because that's more than likely how he'll treat you. He's probably inceased his flirting with you now as you're the next conquest he's aiming for.I'd suggest you don't respond to his advances and don't just casually sleep with him when drunk (or any other time). If you don't believe this then I'm pretty sure you're in for a big learning curve. At best he's insecure, doesn't know what he wants and therefore is not good relationship material. So again ignore the flirting.
...............................
|
