A
female
age
30-35,
*overnotafighter
writes:I've recently discovered that the only type of guys I'm interested in are ones that I have previousy been with and are now in other relationships and I don't know what to do about it.I've been talking lately to my ex who is now living in London but is still going out with a person I used to be friends with and I have started having feelings for him again. I get really excited and happy knowing that he is coming home every second month or so, When we are together it's like we are madly in love and find it hard to stay away and keep our hands off each other in public.Why have I gone back to him again, and why do I find such an attraction to people that are in relationships?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012): Pretty ironic username for a girl fooling around with another girls man.
Why? The same reason Eve just had to take one of those apples.
"why do I find such an attraction to people that are in relationships?"
I'd love to tell you what I really think about that but I'd probably be banned from this site if I did.
Essentially OP you want what other women have normal guys aren't enough for you, you have to be in competition with other girls and you get a kick out of knowing you're hurting them, otherwise why do it?
A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (1 July 2012):
 Because you have lost confidence in yourself and you are scared to move on and make decisions where you may be rejected.
I think you need to work on your self esteem.
You are just as entitled to a loving exclusive committed relationship as anyone else.
Time to get out into the world more and more often to embrace new experiences, new places, and connect with more people who are not all the same old people who you already know.
Stop living your life through the lives of your ex-boyfriends.
Instead work on focusing on you.
Be a little selfish for your own good.
Change your hair style.
Work on your fitness
start saving up for a holiday
get involved in some volunteer work
enroll in a course to learn something new
join a group where you feel some connection with what that group does.
revamp your wardrobe. what have you not worn for two years? give it away to a charity
Review if you are color co-ordinating your mix and max pieces well enough.
Start an inexpensive hobby.
Read some books that might help you think more highly of you.
Check out the Internet for the very old (but still valid) book called "The Art of Selfishness"
Because sometimes, when you think everyone else is more deserving than you of GOOD times and GOOD relationships and HAPPINESS you are doing yourself a dis-service.
You are Just as GOOD as anyone else.
You deserve Happiness just as much as any one else.
best Wishes
Abella
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