A
female
age
36-40,
*airhalflin
writes:Well, lately I've been thinking about things. I recently split with my bf and things ended bitter. He cheated on me and what not and he's done things to me that I've always been quiet about and I never told him that it bothered me. I felt I was being used by him. It felt like he could dispose of me whenever he wanted. I finally got fed up with it and I told him everything that I felt when he did me wrong. The next day he asked out the girl that he cheated on me with and that girl doesn't like me....whatever. When I found this out, every emotion that I felt for him left. I was comfortably numb and I was happy to let go of something that hurt me. I ignore him and her. I pretend that they're not there. I act happy and when they see me around they're quiet and they keep to themselves. Am I doing the right thing? I just don't know what to actually do...
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female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (20 January 2007):
 Your friend is a fountain of wisdom. Listen to her and let him simmer in his own crap.
A
female
reader, fairhalflin +, writes (19 January 2007):
fairhalflin is verified as being by the original poster of the question Okay, here is what happened recently. I was in class and my cast was helping me put up my set for my play. My ex called over my friend. I was busy putting things up and then my friend comes to me and tell me "he wants to know if we're gonna have practice this week?" I stood quiet and I looked at my ex with a really ugly face and I said, "what did you want?" and he said, really nervous, "well, r u gonna have rehearsal this week?" I answered, "nah, I don't think this week. Probably next week, if anything." He just smiled. You know? That smile that you get..."the" smile....ugh...I got mad! My friend saw what my ex did and he said, "what the hell? That's stupid!" I just turned around to not pay attention. My friend reminded me "don't let him do this to you again. He's with her! Remember! If he cares for u still...let him simmer in his own load od crap. Ur not gonna go back."
Well, honestly I didnt care if he did still cared for any reason. I felt nothing...but it gets me upset at him. I just don't want him to feel comfortable to think everything between us is okay bc its not.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (15 January 2007):
You'll find that feeling again, I promise. It's a special feeling, and it feels wonderful, but it will come back with someone else and next time it might even feel stronger. You're doing really well so far, sweet thang. Just keep trcukin' and it will get easier with time.
It's hard, yes, but you are taking it like a champ.
Rock on, sweetness.
xxIndia
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A
female
reader, fairhalflin +, writes (15 January 2007):
fairhalflin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI hope ur right.
I guess I miss that feeling when a guy hugs you and you with the world could stop and u could be there an eternity.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (15 January 2007):
 Sweetheart you will be fine. You're brave and strong and there will be a guy who is going to come along as show you that all this pain was worthwhile because it led you to him.
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A
female
reader, fairhalflin +, writes (14 January 2007):
fairhalflin is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all. I'm trying so hard to be calm, cool, and collected. I just wish it was easier. But, you see he asked me to marry him and at one point I did love him. It hurt that he no longer loved me. He told me he did when we were split and my heart believed him and my mind didn't. I guess I spent too much of my time wondering how everything could be different if I had him back. And at one point when I did, I noticed that now that urge to have him was satisfied...my heart had a hole. The emotions and the excitement that I use to feel for him was gone. I guess it was because of the many heart-breaks he gave me...and you know that feeling when you loose the person you love? Its like a big break in the middle of your chest and the whole world seems to be sucking in and you try to push it out but you can't, its the worst feeling in the world. And I damned him because I never fell for anyone in my life. I never let anyone push me around or have "me". ihe hates me because of what he made me become, I became cold and strong. I wish it was easier dealing with seeing him...I mean, I can deal with it but its hard.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2007): Fairhalflin,
What a nasty person your bf was! You deserve MUCH better than him, and hopefully you will meet someone a lot nicer and considerate in due time.
Yes, I "second" everything TasteofIndia says. You told him what you thought of his behavior (and if anyone ever deserved a "dressing down" he sure did!!).
Ignoring them and acting happy is an excellent way to be whenever you see them.....soon (I hope) you will find it really matters not at all whether they are there or not, LOL.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 January 2007):
Wow! You're a total hero! In your position I think I would totally fall apart and you're being SO BRAVE!! I think you're doing absolutely the right thing to hold yourself together but don't be afraid to have a little cry sometimes if you need to. It can be overwhelming keeping it together in public and not letting yourself fall apart at all. Hope this helps.
CD
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (14 January 2007):
Good girl. You are doing EXACTLY the right thing. There's no need for drama or anything like that... you be the bigger person and act happy. Ignore them. That is just fine. Good choice, doll!
xxIndia
P.S. What a jerk your boyfriend was to cheat on you!! Ugh. You stay strong.
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