A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hello i met my boyfriend online, we have been together for six months. i recently found out he had been checking out single females on a dating site! i am terribly hurt by his action.when i asked him why, he replied he loves me, was sorry and was just looking at other women! i dont feel as if i can trust him. i feel i may walk away from him..i love him but i feel i cannot trust him..i feel very confused.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, mwest  +, writes (12 June 2007):
Thank you for your sincere words. I think your making the right decision by taking a step back. Men love a challenge. I'm trying my hardest to do that with my ex and I think its beginning to work, hopefully. If you need any more advice or you just need to talk, you know where to reach me. I hope everything works out for you both.
A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (12 June 2007):
Thank you for your sincere words. I think your making the right decision by taking a step back. Men love a challenge. I'm trying my hardest to do that with my ex and I think its beginning to work, hopefully. If you need any more advice or you just need to talk, you know where to reach me. I hope everything works out for you both.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhello
thank you mwest ,superfly, danielepew and thurdmusketeer et al for your advice. i am taking a step back so maybe i need time to breathe and maybe he needs his space. i am going to try to slow things down somehow...thankyou for your words. i really needed to hear heartfelt advice from another. mwest thank you for sharing your own personal situation with me...with love jx
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A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (11 June 2007):
I have to agree with musketeer also and I should take her advice as well, because my ex is very afraid of commitment and that is why we broke up. I wouldn't give up just yet, but keep your guard up for now and just take it day by day now.
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A
female
reader, superfly +, writes (11 June 2007):
It seems he may still love you, but he may not be in love with you, and could have lost interest within himself and you.What do you want? Talk with him, and he doesn't improve his behavior, then re-evaluate your needs...and leave him for a better and peaceful life!Good luck with this.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 June 2007):
 You have every reason to feel confused, because this is a very bad sign. I'm not sure what he has in mind, but he might be looking for someone else while keeping you for "backup". If this were the case, he wouldn't tell you, would he? If you can't trust him anymore, you should leave him now.
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A
female
reader, thurdmusketeer +, writes (11 June 2007):
Don't leave just yet. Six months is a long time but some people are afraid of commitment and it may take them longer to realize that they really are serious about someone. He may feel trapped. Possibly you both are getting to serious to soon. He may just need some space. Just slow it down for a little and if he realizes he doesn't like it that way he'll come back to you.
Don't blame yourself for his being afraid of commitment. Behind every messed up guy is usually a girl who made him that way.
Hope that helps.
~Bridget
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A
female
reader, mwest +, writes (11 June 2007):
I was in the same exact situration you are now in. Like you, I met my boyfriend online and we dated off and on for 1 1/2 years. He told me that he wasn't checking anyone out as he never took those profiles off but I did notice he was on the websites through his history bar on his computer. A part of me didn't trust him anymore even though he was denying going on there. We have broke up again but we are still contacting each other still.
My advice to you is, if you really love him, then you have to trust him but if your skeptical and feel like you can't trust him, then there is no way that your relationship will ever work out. At this point, you have to think with you head and not your heart. Good luck!
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