A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently just turned 16 and I really like this boy in my year. He is not the nicest looking but he is very nice to me and always complimenting me. I have liked him for a while and now he has asked me to have sex with him. I don't know what to say because I don't want to disappoint him and not but I don't to in case he is using me. I've not had sex before so I wouldn't be very experienced but I really am thinking about taken up his offer. What do you think I should do honestly? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): thanks alot :) yous have helped me realise that i shouldnt waste my virginity on him but i just felt i really liked him anyways hes a bit of a ned and smoke so i am pretty turn off tht way even though hes attractive.
x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): There are three choices here, this is not an indepth question.1 yes2 no3 i don't knowYou are clearly a i don't know. Which means you are probably thinking about it. So tell him you are 'thinking about it'.Its the truth
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): For your first time having sex it should be with someone that you really like and that cares about you. I don't think you need to be married, but if he really liked you then he wouldn't want to jump into bed with you right away. It does sound as though you could be hurt by this guy if you take him up on his offer. You'd regret it in the end, I know this from personal experience. The fact that you are getting stressed about the questions shows that you are not ready. You are still very young and you should be out having fun with your friends not stressinG about whether or not to have sex with a guy who hasn't even asked you out on a few dates firsts.
Don't worry about dissapointing him. If he likes you then he'll wait and he wont be dissapointed.
If he is dissapointed then it just shows how little he actually cared about you and how immature he is and what a big mistake sleeping with him would be.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): For your first time having sex it should be with someone that you really like and that cares about you. I don't think you need to be married, but if he really liked you then he wouldn't want to jump into bed with you right away. It does sound as though you could be hurt by this guy if you take him up on his offer. You'd regret it in the end, I know this from personal experience. The fact that you are getting stressed about the questions shows that you are not ready. You are still very young and you should be out having fun with your friends not stressinG about whether or not to have sex with a guy who hasn't even asked you out on a few dates firsts.
Don't worry about dissapointing him. If he likes you then he'll wait and he wont be dissapointed.
If he is dissapointed then it just shows how little he actually cared about you and how immature he is and what a big mistake sleeping with him would be.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Sex is something that should be shared between two married people who are committed to each other completely. Tell him no that you are saving yourself. He should understand that if he really cares for you. I personally am twenty and I am still a virgin and plan on remaining that way till marriage. I am open with the guys that I date and tell them right away that I am saving myself. I have had friends who have not waited and in the end the story is usually the same the relationship goes down the drain and the girl ends up hurt and confused and depressed. My friend lost ten pounds in less than a month and cried for months on end. She has even stopped talking to family and friends and is questioning her future career plans. Sex is worth the wait.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Youve kind of answered your own question. 'You don't know what to say' So just be truthful and tell him your 'thinking about it', and whilst youre still unsure continue with that reply even if your 25 years old.
When you have an answer tell him.
This way you are being honest and controlling the situation.
Good luck
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2008): Thanks for your help.. any more comments would be appreciated but I just wnaty say that he isn't the type to go out with someone.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 Honestly, I would wait until I was in a really committed relationship with a guy who loved me and respected me and wanted only the best for me.
Compliments are easy to give.
Disappointments will be many in a lifetime, and maybe it's time he had one? You don't need to have sex with someone just because you think he might be disappointed.
If he is really interested in being in a relationship with you, don't you think he would have asked you out by now? I think he may just be testing you to see how far he can get.
Don't do it, my gut feeling for you.
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female
reader, cd206 +, writes (14 May 2008):
 My gut instinct is that you shouldn't. If this guy likes you why not get into a relationship and build up some mutual trust and respect befroe taking the plunge. You're so young and believe me, you have your whole life to have sex. It's always an ego boost when a guy asks you for the first time but you don't need to settle for someone you're not sure about. In my experience having sex with someone you're not 100% sure about inevitably leads to heartache. Just remember that if you do choose to have sex with him though, arrange your contraception in advance.
Cat
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female
reader, :):):) +, writes (14 May 2008):
No! As tempting as it may be, you should really be in a relationship before you have sex. News travels fast in schools and you don't want to risk your reputation. Get to know him better first or you'll end up regretting it.
Good luck
xxx
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female
reader, les +, writes (14 May 2008):
Let me understand you properly? This boy has been complimenting you, and to return the favor, you feel like need to have, or owe him, sex?
Dear, boys will say anything and everything humanly imaginable to have sex with you. Your job is to decide whether they actually mean it or are just saying it to have sex with you.
Please dont do it, believe me, you will not feel good about yourself afterwards. And, you will remember it for the rest of your life. Please save it until you have a boyfriend that truly cares about you.
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male
reader, guitar_hero_19 +, writes (14 May 2008):
ok. one thing you should definately NOT do is have sex untill your truly ready. you have to remember that you only have virginity once in your life. and the first time you have sex should be special. its always best to have sex with someone you trust or are in love with because that will make it special to you and hopefully to the other person. my advice would be to make sure 120% that he won't use you and that it will mean just as much to him as it will to you but remember. only have sex if your truly ready and you feel comfortable.i wish you all the best.gav.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): I can't really offer you much advice except to really think about it, and see what you REALLY want. If you're not ready, he should understand that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Honestly?
I think you should say no, but ask him if he'd like to maybe go out with you some time.
You should also tell him that you're a virgin and it's important to you to have sex with the rigth person (This may not actually be the case, but this isn't something that anyone wants to look back on with regret).
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female
reader, tsurugi-ijin +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Are you dating him?
If not then this is not a good idea.
Im guessing your year 10 and pretty close to your exams, not to be all high horse but for the next month or so they are top.
If you two arnt dating ask him out, if he says no then simply ask him how he expects something of you with out respecting you at all.
If you are going out how longs it been?
please write an update,
All the Best, Jin
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