A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what's wrong with me now. There was a misunderstanding between my boyfriend and me. He thought I was talking bad about his friends and said something to me that made me feel less important. I love him so much but I feel as if I don't mean anything to him. He apologized to me, but I still feel really bad inside. We've been together for over 18 months now. He says that he loves me but I'm afraid that I'm less important to him than anyone else. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I need help from someone. He means so much to me but ever since that day, I've been confused about my feelings and I'm aching all over. I just feel... broken. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Learner.uk  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 Hi,I personaly think you should sit down and have a talk with him just to let him know how you feel and what you think and try to get him to talk to you, I have said stupid things in the past and over reacted everyone does it he might not have ment to say what he said and it was just a mindless reaction however you wont know unless you talk and letting it build up inside will be affecting you.You will feel much better for it, even if he says something you dont want to hear, at least you know and can make your mind up! Then you can decide on what to do from there, stay calm dont react and be possitive in your self, rather then being unhappy and it doing your head in even more, do you want that month's down the line or would you rather have a talk hopefully work things out in your head now?Hope this help's to make your mind up, all the best.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (12 January 2011):
 This is not a good sign. How many other times has he said or done things that makes you feel less important? Even if you love him and want to be with him, you do not really want to be with him when he hurts you, do you? You want to be with someone who doesn't say hurtful things that breaks your heart, even if they apologize endless times afterwards. A few times it's ok, we all make mistakes. But this sounds like something that's a feature of him, something that has happened more than once.
How often do these misunderstandings occur? Could it be it is not your fault, but that your boyfriend often hears things wrong, often misunderstands, is on alert and defensive?
If this truly is the first and only time he has ever said anything like that, then you are overreacting. That's why I am suspicious that these "misunderstandings" happen often, because if they do then it is normal to start feeling the way you do. It could be you think that when he misunderstands he's allowed to hurt you... but he's not. Misunderstanding is his own fault, and if things weren't clear he needs to ask about it and talk about it. Not jump at your throat. So be honest with yourself, does this happen often? Is he making you happy?
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (12 January 2011):
 So what did he actually say to you?
Without knowing what he said, it just sounds like he was insulted that you spoke poorly of his friends and he insulted back. Sounds just like a fight to me, and not really a relationship changing one. Whatever he said in the heat of the moment doesn't necessarily mean that's how he really feels.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): What did he say exactly?
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A
male
reader, df30 +, writes (12 January 2011):
Actually I recently had a fight with my gf and I said something to her that I truly didnt mean but i knew it would hurt her feelings so being the shallow bastard I am I hurt and feelings and ever since she has been hurt by what I said.I keep telling her I didn't mean it which I didnt at all but shes still hurting from it. I think it might be the same case for you he might have said what he said knowing that was something that would hurt you and apologized because he didn't mean it. If you bring it up a couple times and he sincerely apologizes then I would say he prob didnt mean what he said.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2011): Often times, us guys are bad with words. Chances are he had good intention with what he said but came across in a bad way. Ask him for clarification. Good luck.
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